Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Singularly Unfair, and Utterly Typical (possible TMI)

Today is Gwen's first swimming lesson at the pool. I have been looking forward to this for months. In fact, I was excited enough last night that I had trouble falling asleep!

So it stands to reason that this morning, I woke up with the first period I've had since July 2007. Of course I did. Dammit!

Also in the category of bizarre bodily functions, this morning as I changed Gwen's diaper the following happened:
I took off her dirty diaper, cleaned her up, and applied diaper cream.
She peed.
I got out another cloth, cleaned her up, and re-applied diaper cream.
She pooed.
I got out *another* cloth, cleaned her up, re-applied diaper cream, and waited for her to invent some new bodily function for me to deal with.

I suppose all we need is for Chris to start uncontrollably crying, vomiting, and running his nose, and we will have all bodily functions covered in this house. Kinda like when I was in labour, except then I did them all myself.


Amberism said...

Totally unfair!

I guess next week has to be the first lesson!

Anonymous said...

Oh yes, yes yes yes. I apologize for giggling, but you are one funny lady.

By the way, I long ago gave up on motherhood as the journey to nirvana. Its just another state, though my kids make me laugh and mostly I enjoy them. I was forwarded an article from a friend of mine that said we place high value on that which costs us a lot of money - hey... kids are expensive! It was specifically targeting motherhood. I remember an Oprah (obviously from a long time ago since tv in the day now usually involves some dancing animated figure with a smart alecky attitude and a fresh mouth). Oh off track. I remember an Oprah where she "debunked" the motherhood myth. Interesting stuff. And the people who get so offended by this "motherhood is not all sunshine and roses" don't seem to have children.

I also came to the conclusion that people who said their kids were perfect ("never knew s/he was teething, just woke up and the tooth was there" "She's been sleeping through the night since she was in the womb!!!" "Never cries" "goes to sleep right away"), simply put, these people LIE. Why? Dunno. But that's my theory and I'm sticking to it - it helps me accept who I am *g*. I'm more a "I yelled myself hoarse then cried in the bathroom because mommy's a monster" kind of mom ;)

Have a good one!


Amberism said...

oh, absolutely Heidi, they are totally lieing (how do you spell lieing? that doesn't seem right...).


Related Posts with Thumbnails