"I Sleep This Door*": More about Travel and Sleep

* The title is taken from one of the two phrases Gwen says repeatedly during her bedtime protests: "I'm awake," and "I sleep this door." "I'm awake," is obvious in its meaning. I'm awake, so why are you blathering on about sleep and trying to get me to lie down? I'm awake! "I sleep this door," is a little bit more obscure, and I've tried to get her to explain what it means to no avail. But I think what it means is that she doesn't want to be left in the room alone, she wants to go out of "this door" and hang out with the big people. The ones who, like her, are awake.

The reason we chose to do sleep training with Gwen when she was only 7 months old was simple: I didn't want her to be able to stand up in the crib and shriek, "MAAAAMMMMMAAAA!" when I left her there to learn to fall asleep on her own.

Let me dig into this tangent for a second. That is what sleep training, in any form, really is: assisting your child in learning how to fall asleep without your help. That's the objective view, at least. From the child's point of view, of course, you are heartlessly abandoning them and will NEVER LOVE THEM AGAIN.

There is a school of thought that allowing babies to cry themselves to sleep will cause brain damage. I am not here to rule on whether or not this is accurate. What I will say is that the intensity and the length of time for which Gwen cried (at seven months old) prior to falling asleep, was acceptable to us, her parents, as safe and non-damaging. We do not believe that her emotional state or her physical brain were harmed in this process. NOTE: this does NOT mean it was easy to listen to her cry, just that we believe she was safe while doing so.

We also followed the philosophy of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth, M.D., who compared the crying of a child learning to fall asleep without assistance is similar to the crying of a child upset because his mother won't let him climb up on dangerous playground equipment. It's protest crying. And just as we don't let Gwen do things that are dangerous, no matter how she cries or fights or fusses, we don't let her compromise her sleep simply because we are unable to withstand her protests. Dr. Weissbluth also brings forward many valuable points about just how important sleep is to productive learning and later success in life, concluding that not doing whatever it takes to get your child a good night's sleep is just as dangerous and neglectful as letting him climb that jungle gym.


So. We did sleep training, and it was a resounding success. And then this trip came along, this trip where Gwen could climb out of her playpen and suddenly my strategies of just leaving her alone until she was ready to go to sleep were totally null and void. And I had vowed before going on this trip that I was not going to stress about her sleep, so I didn't. If she didn't want to go to bed, she didn't. I wasn't going spend two hours arguing with her about it.

Which brings me back to: there's a reason why we did sleep training when she was a baby. Because now? Now that we are back home and trying to get into a routine and she's had a week or so of staying up late, watching TV before bed, and snuggling with Mama? Now she argues about it. And it is INCREDIBLY hard not to get drawn into it, because she's a very smart little girl, and I'm a patient and compassionate Mama, and I want her to go to bed but I also want her to feel GOOD about going to bed, and that means that I want her to understand what's going on and participate in it voluntarily.

The fact that she can speak full sentences tricks me, without even realizing it, into expecting her to be a reasonable, rational person, and as a result I treat her that way. If a rational, reasonable person were crying and begging me not to leave, well, I would not leave. I would stay and help them through whatever they needed help with, in whatever way possible. But Gwen, despite her language proficiency, is NOT a rational and reasonable person. She lacks the self-awareness to say, as anyone else would, "Okay, I'm feeling better now. Thanks for the hugs. I'm really tired, so I think I'll go to bed." And as much as I'd love to believe Gwen is capable of self-regulating like that, she really is not. The second half of our holiday proved that in a very loud and emphatic way.

We've been back from our trip for a full week now and we are still having some real struggles at bedtime. And it kills me, it really does. I have had to work to pry her limbs off my head, where she has wrapped herself like some kind of face-sucking alien. And let me tell you, that girl is strong. But it's not the physical battles, it's the emotional ones. All she wants is for me to lie down with her until she falls asleep. (Is that so wrong?) And some nights, the only reason I don't do that is because I don't want her to get used to it. It's like the mentality that makes us go to the gym and work out so that we will look good in our exercise clothes when we're at the gym. Whafuh? It's a cruel joke that kids are too young to grasp the concept of "sometimes", as in, sometimes Mama will snuggle with you, and sometimes she won't, but either way THE WORLD WILL NOT END.

I guess if she were a rational, reasonable person, she would know that already.

Return from Circle Tour

Hello! We (meaning Gwen and I) are back from our 10-day circle tour. I could easily blather on for a thousand words or so about who we saw, and what we did, and a million other details. But I'm betting that won't be interesting for anyone. So here is a summary:


Awesome things:

I loved spending time with lots of family and friends that I hadn't seen in a long time. The pinnacle example of this was seeing Ryan and Tasha, friends I graduated with and ... kind of haven't seen since. (Actually, I saw Ryan once at our 10 year reunion, but that was 7 years ago and all I remember from that encounter was his repeated - and wholly justified - mocking of the crappy band hired for the event.) As a bonus, Ryan and Tasha have a brand new baby girl, and I got to hold her! Score one for me!

I also got to connect with friends who were sort of on my outer circle prior to this trip. To be blunt: they were mostly my ex-husband's friends. But they invited Gwen and I over for a morning, and now they are OUR friends too. That felt really good. Added bonus: four-month-old baby! I totally got to hold her too! Value-added bonus: Gwen got along really well with their older son and there was a hilarious moment when the two toddlers decided they didn't want us mommies in their space and pushed us out of the bedroom. So yeah, my daughter was alone in a bedroom with a boy. Didn't think THAT would happen for a few years yet, haha! Super-duper added bonus: they are moving to the Island soon! Lucky Gwen, she won't have to worry about the challenges of a long-distance relationship.


I was also really impressed by Gwen's cousins' behaviour towards and treatment of her. Andrew (7) and Scotty (nearly 4) are now old enough to realize that Gwen is smaller and less hardy than they are, and they treated her accordingly. Many, many times throughout my stay at their house, one or both of the boys was watching/taking care of Gwen for a few minutes while I had a shower, packed the suitcase, got lunch ready, etc. It was a real treat.

One day, I took Gwen to the mall, intending to buy a sunhat for myself. I ended up buying a few other things in the process as well. Gwen was in the stroller for about an hour all told, while I wheeled her around and tried on clothes. Somehow, she tolerated this. I know some grown people who have difficulty with this kind of errand. Actually, come to think of it, I'm one of them - so it's really kind of mind-blowing that she behaved as well as she did.

Sidenote: upon exiting the mall, it was POURING rain. Raining so hard that it was bouncing back up off the pavement. Raining so hard that Gwen said, "Mama, it's raining bubbles." And I couldn't remember EXACTLY where I'd left the car. And Gwen and I were both in summery clothes and she was in the stroller and by the time I found the car her pants were as wet as if they'd just come out of the washer, and my feet were sloshing in my sandals. I just kept laughing and laughing. I thought it was too over the top hilarious. I said to Gwen, "I just can't believe it!" and she echoed me back, which made me laugh even harder.

Sidesidenote: since buying that sunhat, we actually haven't seen the sun a single time. Bite me, WEATHER.

The less-than-awesome:
Gwen is ... kind of a lot to handle. And while I am very used to her antics, setting her against the backdrop of other places and other people really sharply accentuates that she is a 30-pound bundle of CRAZY. Nowhere was this more evident than at the beautiful, pages-of-a-magazine home of two of our friends, where Gwen rapidly unfurled half a roll of toilet paper into the toilet, the resolution of which required a plunger. Um. Yes. That would be MY kid.

The night before we left on our trip, you may recall, Gwen stayed over at her Gramma and Grandpa's. It was discovered on that night that Gwen can now climb out of the playpen. Did this have an impact on our trip? OH HO HO. If by "impact" you mean "her sleep got worse and worse as the trip went on and by the end of the trip, "bedtime" was at 10pm and came with ~20 minutes of HARDCORE screaming before finally crashing, usually SIDEWAYS in MY BED" then yes, I'd say there was an impact.

(At home, Gwen sleeps in a toddler bed. She only uses a playpen while travelling, or at Gramma's, or at daycare. And when she's at home in her room, if she decides she's not quite ready to go to sleep, I have no problem with her getting out of bed and wandering around the perfectly safe and free-from-breakable-objects room. But when staying in other people's houses? Those rooms do not generally meet the criteria for toddler-wandering. And thus, she needs to stay in her playpen. And with that era at an end, the sleep was also at an end.)

Gwen's behaviour and mood deteriorated accordingly. Which reminds me: if you happened to be on the 12:10pm ferry from PR to Comox this past Monday, and got to witness Gwen's ear-splitting, body-flinging temper tantrums in the cafeteria? I'm really sorry. I don't even know what she was upset about. I hope the shrieking didn't impact on your enjoyment of the ferry food.

She missed her nap most days, and anywhere between one and three hours of her typical 12-hour nighttime sleep. That's like a third of her daily sleep. If you missed a third of YOUR sleep for 5 days or so, you'd be a bitch, too. So I understand why it happened. It still sucked to be a part of it.

Also (Beware, Grandpa George and other delicate readers): The fucking weather can GO FUCK ITSELF RIGHT IN THE EAR. Remember how I mentioned above that we haven't seen the sun since that nasty rainstorm on the way out of the mall? It's true. And that was halfway through our holiday. Ten-day holiday with a toddler? Potentially fun. Ten-day holiday with a toddler who isn't sleeping? Kind of dodgy. Ten-day holiday with a toddler who isn't sleeping and hasn't been outside for three days? FUCK THIS NOISE.

There are two parts of this that irritate me. One is that I have once again been catapulted back into the pre-sleep-training days where I can't answer any question - How are you, what's new, how was your trip - without relating in some significant way to Gwen's sleep. I hated that then and I hated it now - I despise being so one-dimensional.

The other part that irritates me is that after a good night's sleep at home on Monday and a solid nap at daycare on Tuesday, Gwen transformed into an entirely different child. I came home Tuesday afternoon to a cheerful, articulate, charming and good-natured little girl. THIS is the child I wanted to go on holiday with. THIS is the child I wanted to show off to my friends and family. I missed this little girl A LOT.

So yeah, we're home. I have to charge the camera battery in order to get the pictures off. I have to keep working with Gwen to get her sleep schedule back to normal. I have to catch up on all the stuff that happened while I was gone. I have to reflect on the trip and figure out how to do it better next time.

It's good to be home.

We are on Holiday!

Last weekend I left Gwen with Chris and went down to Victoria to visit my best friend and help him celebrate his birthday. I had an awesome time. It's great to get away and just be Laura for a while, separate from being Gwen's mom. On Sunday morning I drove back to Nanaimo, grabbed a quick nap, packed up Gwen and all her stuff, and we drove up Island to catch the ferry to Powell River, where we are visiting my parents for the next few days.

I am absolutely LOVING this vacation business. This is the first time I have taken more than a day or two off work since returning to work in April (because my employer doesn't award vacation time until six months after you return to work). Because we are not at our own house, the Gwen-maintenance chores are a little more, well, high-maintenance, but .... that's ALL I have to do! No housework (other than cleaning up after Gwen), no schoolwork, no rushing around to meetings and yoga and swimming lessons, no chores to be done, no calls to return. Just hang out with my daughter, try to mitigate the chaos she is causing at her grandparents' house, and enjoy their company. You guys? I started a book on Sunday and finished it last night. I LOVE VACATIONS!

I hadn't really predicted how marvellous it would be to be "off" not only from work, but from all my other extra-curricular activities. It's downright lovely.

Trip to PR

Apparently, as far as my life is concerned, 5 is the new 13. As in, setting off on a trip on (insert ominous music) Friday, June 5th, was a colosally bad idea. Why didn't anyone tell me?

I had only three things to accomplish on Friday. First, at 9am, meet with a teacher at Enchanted Woodlands childcare centre to drop off an application for Gwen to attend preschool there. Second, catch the 3:15 ferry from Comox to Powell River. And third, make sure Gwen got some kind of decent nap in between these two appointments.I tried my damndest, but I failed at all three of these things. Or should I say, the WORLD FAILED ME.

9am, I show up at the preschool. Some background: I first called this centre last July, when Gwen was a tiny little ten-week-old, to put her on the daycare waitlist. At that time, the person answering the phones said "I only take names for the waitlist on the first of the month; I start answering the phones at 7:30; good luck." I was so overwhelmingly impressed with this attitude, which I like to call "Who died and made you God," that I never called back. Until The Great Daycare Debacle of 2009 convinced me that I needed to do whatever possible to make sure Gwen *never* got left in the lurch again. This meant calling every child care centre I could in good conscience send her to, and jump through whatever hoops they required in order to get her on their lists.

In order to get this appointment, I had called a woman named Ruth and left two voicemail messages for her. The third time I called - about a week after my first call - I managed to get through to her. The only reason I even *knew* that Ruth was the person I needed to speak to, was because someone I met at my church works at this centre, and when she heard I was looking for childcare she took pity on me and gave me Ruth's name. When I finally managed to reach Ruth, we had a nice chat and set up the appointment for me to drop off the applications that she forwarded to my email within 10 minutes.

Engage hoops!

So, cut back to Friday morning, when I arrive at the centre with toddler in sling and application in hand. It turns out Ruth isn't there. She's overbooked herself and won't be until that afternoon. I get a brief tour of the centre and hand in my application to someone else, who assures me Ruth will get it the moment she returns.

I fret and fume on the way home that this appointment was the only reason I didn't catch a morning ferry to PR. That Ruth had just cheated Gwen out of a few hours with her grandparents. I was pissed.

On the other hand, the schedule I'd figured out did allow for a good nap. Gwen has been eating lunch between 11 and 11:30, then going down for a nap immediately afterwards. Catching a 10am ferry would throw that right off, but I figured if we ate around 11:30 and left by noon, she'd fall asleep in the car. I even planned to drive around Courtenay for an extra half-hour or so to make sure she got enough sleep before going to the terminal, since once I stopped the car she would probably wake up.

All went according to plan. Lunch was eaten, Gwen fell asleep in the car, I drove up-Island at 20 km/hr under the speed limit since the goal was to encourage a long sleep, not to arrive at the terminal quickly. I took a scenic tour of the old Island Highway to extend the nap. About 15 minutes before arriving at the terminal, Gwen woke up, having slept just over an hour - not as long as I might have liked, but long enough that she wouldn't be unduly grouchy. We arrived at the terminal at 2:40 for a 3:15 sailing.

And that's when we found out our sailing was delayed until 4:20.

I don't know if people who have never lived on the coast can truly appreciate the challenge of keeping a toddler entertained at a ferry terminal. The Comox terminal is not like the bigger terminals with shopping, amenities, and so on. There is one waiting room, about the size of my living room, with a dozen chairs and no ventilation. There is an outdoor waiting area, about twice that size, with one picnic table and an umbrella that provides about six square feet of shade. It was the hottest part of the day and the sun was beating down on us. Worst of all, I knew that even after surviving the challenge of keeping her safe and entertained for an hour and a half at the terminal, I would then have to do the same thing for another hour and a half on the ferry.

Concerned about dehydration and sunstroke (I used to get it all the time as a kid), I started pushing her water on her. She was pretty disinterested and repeatedly pushed it away after only a little sip. However, she was quite keen on drinking from my bottle. Most of the time, I don't let her drink from mine, but in this case I was willing to do whatever it took to get the liquids in her, so I let her go for it. I made a half-hearted attempt to find the sunscreen in my suitcase - I'd lotioned her up earlier in the day, but that was a few hours ago, and I figured 90 minutes in direct sunlight might warrant a second application. I soon discovered I'd packed the sunscreen in a fairly inaccessible spot, but a fellow passenger came to my rescue and loaned me hers. Actually, the other passengers were very kind, moving over to make sure Gwen had a spot in the shade and so on. Not that she stayed still for long. Most of the 90 minutes were spent following her around as she examined every inch of her environment.

Finally the ferry came and we boarded. With visions of the air-conditioned kids' area dancing in my head, I hauled all our stuff onto the boat and walked upstairs. But what's this? There's no kids' area on this boat!

And it isn't air-conditioned, either!

In fact, this is an old, broken-down boat that is going to take about half an hour longer to make the trip than the usual boat. By this time I have stopped being angry and am just trying to take solace in the fact that at least I'm going to get blog fodder out of this.

For those of you who have never taken a toddler onto a ferry without a kids' area, let me give you the highlights of what your child will find on this trip. I call this the "Oh, That's Why Toddler Leashes Were Invented!" Tour:

- the designated smoking area

- the washroom that is the opposite gender's to the parent with whom the child is travelling

- the crew-only area

- every single hazardous staircase on the vessel

Attempts to remove your child from any of these truly fascinating destinations will result in the deployment of Full Tantrum Mode.

By 6:30pm, we had landed in Powell River and were in my mom's car headed for the family home. It was half an hour past Gwen's usual dinner time, and she was pretty fractious. We got home at 7 and didn't eat until 7:30, by which point Gwen was so out of it she didn't know whether to eat or fall asleep in her high chair. Dinner was less a social event and more a showcase of all her worst behaviours, which I'm sure made my parents *really* glad they'd invited us over. Also during dinner, we discovered that the straw for her sippy-bottle was missing, making it impossible to use. Guess that's why she kept rejecting it earlier. Honestly, it felt like we had spent the entire day getting to PR, and got to have absolutely no visiting time that evening because I needed to get Gwen fed and into bed immediately.

The next day was better.

I can't tell you how cool it was to watch Gwen toddle around exploring the exact same yard I used to play in as a kid. Not to mention how fun it was watching her get to know my parents a bit. She said the word "bumpa" (Grandpa) this weekend, which I think is her first non-repetitive two-syllable word. At one point, I swear I heard her say "Hi, Granny" though it sounded more like "hi, eh-ny."

Gwen was definitely not herself: our latest check shows that she may be getting three or even FOUR teeth at once right now, so she's pretty screamy at times. She also, throughout the entire weekend, refused to fall asleep on any location other than my chest. On Sunday afternoon, I just rolled with it: set myself up in a rocking chair with a good book, and spent over an hour underneath a sleeping toddler. Whatever it took. (Wow, is this getting to be a theme?)

On Sunday, we were thrilled to note that the usual boat and the usual schedule were back in place, and the trip back home was far less eventful. Gwen and I ate dinner in the ferry cafeteria, then hung out in the kids' area for the remaining 40 minutes of the trip, where I even ran into some old friends. Our ferry landed (ON! TIME!) at about 6:45, and once buckled back into her carseat, Gwen promptly fell asleep and snoozed all the way home. The two mornings since then, she has slept in until nearly 9am.

For the most part, I love living on the coast. I can't imagine not being near the ocean. But every once in a while I bump up against the cold hard fact that unless I get rich enough to fly my own plane home, I have to deal with BC Ferries' complete indifference to customer service whenever I want to see my family. I guess I should be grateful that we all live close enough to make seeing each other more than once a year an option at all - but sometimes it's hard to find that gratitude.

On the other hand, sometimes it isn't hard at all.

The Spring Circle Tour

On Wednesday, March 4th, Gwen and I left for a weeklong tour of several important locations, to visit family and friends. It was a huge success!




Rather than write a detailed post which is sure to top 5000 words about all the things we did and all the people we saw, I thought I would try doing it in list format. Hopefully this is less boring.

Itinerary:
- spend two nights in the Lower Mainland
- visit family, Amanda, and Kat
- spend two nights on the Sunshine Coast
- visit sister and family
- spend three nights in Powell River
- visit parents, grandparents, Karin, and Crystal

Happy Surprises:
- coincidentally being in the Lower Mainland at the same time as Rachael and Ira (whom I hadn't seen since he was a few weeks old - he's now seven months!), and getting to spend a few hours with them.
- being invited to Erin's baby shower, where I got to hold a four-week-old baby and get into some nitty-gritty details about the "joys" of breastfeeding.

Notables:
- Gwen slept through the night every single night, and napped in the car on the days I managed to arrange our schedule appropriately.
- Some days, she missed her nap, but she didn't make us suffer for it.
- I finally got to spend some time hanging out with Karin's boys, Zak and Eli, who are totally cool.
- Hanging out with Amanda and her family - especially her older son, Kai, who is four - makes me really look forward to Future Gwen: the one who can talk and ask questions and provide an endlessly amusing commentary on life.

Highlights:
- Saturday morning while I was at my sister's, Gwen took a 2.5 hour nap, which allowed me TONS of time to hang out with my nephews for some quality "let's show Auntie Laura all our cool toys" time. It was awesome!
- That afternoon, we all went swimming at the new pool in Sechelt, which was also awesome.
- On Tuesday night I put Gwen to bed then followed my mom to her vocal ensemble practice where I got to hear them work on the pieces they were preparing for the local Music Festival. I haven't heard my mom sing in years, so that was a great experience.

Lowlights:
- For the entirety of my stay with my sister, I thought my camera had been left behind, so I have NO PICTURES of that portion of our trip. Fortunately, it was found again when I got to our next destination.
- I left behind various objects at every place we visited. I'm missing a baby bottle, one of Gwen's toys, my sunglasses, and a tiny booklight I used to read in bed while Gwen slept in the playpen two feet away. Typical of me to lose stuff - but at least it wasn't anything critical (see previous item re: camera).

Hilarity:
- The time Gwen couldn't go to sleep at 7pm because my dad's band was practicing downstairs. When they finally finished practicing and I put her to bed, I think she was asleep before I even left the room.
- The time my younger nephew Scotty jumped into my arms at the pool without warning me, and he flew over my head and apparently I made a truly hilarious face.
- The time my mom took Gwen and I to Wal-Mart (where she works) so she could show Gwen off. She strode proudly up and down the aisles, hailing everyone she knew by saying, "Look, my baby's here!" She would then talk all about how old Gwen was, how much she slept, what her personality was like, etc, often without even introducing me. I should have excused myself and gone to the spa, as my presence was clearly not needed!

Unexpected:
- I figured she'd have learned to walk by the time we got home. Nope. I also thought she'd have about four more teeth by this time. Not even one.
- Every single place we stayed gave us stuff. Robyn gave us a table toy (the kind I'd been wanting to buy for Gwen) as well as a huge bag of 12- & 18-month clothes; Sara gave me some toys her boys have outgrown, including a LeapPad; Mom gave me a giant bin of vintage Fisher Price stuff that used to be mine (how freaking cool is that!). I ended up bringing home way more stuff than I left with. Fortunately, I have totally made my peace with the fact that Travelling with Babies Means No More Packing Light, so it's all good.

My absolute favourite moment of the whole trip:
One night in the middle of our trip Gwen woke up. There was no clock in the room so at first I thought it might be morning (maybe 6am, and still dark). So I picked her up and cuddled her. But my body soon told me it was not morning yet, because I was still exhausted, and all I wanted to do was lie back down in my bed. Gwen was snuggled into my shoulder. I wondered if she'd let me get away with it - usually if you try to cuddle her lying down she just gets up and crawls away. She's not much for the co-sleeping. But I was so tired I thought I'd try. I lay down and she snuggled right up beside me. I got to cuddle her for about 30 or 40 minutes while she dozed. When I started to doze off too, I got up and put her back in the crib, so she wouldn't fall off the bed (it was a single).

It was a lovely feeling, snuggling with my perfect little girl as she slept beside me, the house silent and dark around us. She was so relaxed and I just basked in her perfection and my love for her.

Okay but we can't end the post on such a shmoopy note, so tell another funny story:
I can't think of one, so instead I'll just post a picture of Gwen playing on the ferry on our way home.

Conclusion:
Gwen is a good traveller. And I have learned why travelling with her works well for me too: with other people around to talk to, and without the nagging feeling that I should be dealing with housework and my many other life obligations, I am way more relaxed and way more attentive to her (and for the brief times when I'm truly unavailable, hey, look! It's those other people again!). I enjoyed this trip so much that I think taking a little "mommy and me" vacation together once a year might become one of our little bonding traditions.

I win at packing! But lose at Christmas!

I want you all to know that I did a phenomenal job packing for today's trip. Like, probably the best packing job I've ever done.

(That's IT. Seriously. Me + Gwen for four days and three nights. I ROCK!)

(Um, except obviously her playpen and Bumbo chair are not pictured here. The playpen is for sleeping and the Bumbo is for eating, since Gwen is not enthused about sitting in people's laps. (Or anywhere, really.) But luggage-wise? This is it. I am proud!)

Naturally, our trip was cancelled due to a blizzard warning. When your city's Fire Rescue Department sends out an emergency alert advising residents to stock up on lights, food, medicine, water, pet food, and gasoline - hmm, it just might be a hint brick from the Universe saying STAY THE HELL HOME. So, that's what we're doing.

I am very disappointed to be missing out on the English Family Christmas this year, a tradition that's been going for six years now. It feels strange that our extended family won't be as big a part of Gwen's first Christmas as we'd planned. But ultimately, what's important is that the three of us are together, we're safe, and we'll have our own quiet little celebration. As Chris pointed out, if ever there was a Christmas for plans getting screwed up, it might as well be this one, when Gwen doesn't know the difference.

I do, though, and I'm a little bit perplexed as to how to ensure that the upcoming Week of Being Stuck At Home With Gwen will be different from Every Other Week of the Year When I Am Stuck At Home With Gwen. It's still my Christmas too, and I want it to be a little bit special. I guess now I have to figure out how to do that.

But! More importantly. Behold my packing!

The Diaper Bag/Ferry Bag.

The above bag is all we need to bring on the ferry to keep Gwen fed, clean, and somewhat entertained.

Contents include:

Burp cloths (including a Christmas-themed one)

Three disposable diapers*

Plastic bag for soiled clothes

Whole-grain sugar-free "O" cereal in case Gwen suddenly shows an interest in finger food

Toys

Entire clean outfit in case of blowout

Receiving blanket because I have a bizarre fear of going anywhere without one

Long piece of fabric that turns into a wrap like this, for carrying Gwen

Nightlight clipped on edge of bag, not so much for the ferry but for latenight Gwen attendance in homes with unknown layouts

Diaper Cream

Disposable Wipes*

Changing Pad

Not pictured: The bottles and formula I would have added to the bag if we'd actually headed out this morning.

The Overnight Bag

Along with the diaper/ferry bag, this bag would have accompanied us into my aunt's house. It contains everything we need for dinner, sleeping, and the next morning.

Contents include:

Change of clothes for me

My jammies

Change of clothes for Gwen

Plastic bag in case of soiled clothes

Two pairs of socks for Gwen

Burp cloths

Three bibs, including two that are Christmas-themed

Container of wheat cereal

Dish and spoon

Jarred baby food**

Her reflux medicine and syringe

Baby Tylenol

Receiving Blanket

Fancy dress for dinner

More diapers*

Jammies & overjammies

mp3 player & speakers (we use this to play the hourlong track of ocean wave sounds she is used to while she sleeps; it helps soothe her, and cover other household noises)

Not pictured: Her lovey, "Mooey", which again would have been thrown in the bag this morning.

**Not something she gets at home, but seems a good plan for when we're travelling and don't have any idea whether the food will be suitable for her.

The Gibsons Bag

This is the bag containing everything needed for Gwen and I to spend two days and nights on the Coast with my sister. The previous bag could have happily stayed in the car during this time.

Contents include:

Changing pad

Gwen's bathing suit (we were going to go to the pool while there)

Swim diapers

Receiving blanket

Plastic bag

Burp cloths

More clothes for me

My bathing suit

More clothes for Gwen

More diapers*

More jammies for Gwen

More disposable wipes*

More jarred baby food**

More socks for Gwen

Not pictured: the jar of formula and bottles I would have added this morning if we'd actually been heading out.

*While at home, we use cloth diapers and wipes for Gwen, but when travelling, we do disposable. Mostly this reflects our respect for our hosts' homes and our unwillingness to fill them with stinky soiled diapers.

A post about luggage. How freaking lame. At least I'm not totally alone in the weirdness, though. And taking the photos in anticipation of this post made all the UNpacking I had to do today, a little less painful.

I'm now feeling a little blue over Gwen's lack of opportunity to wear the lovely Christmas clothes she has. She has two Christmas-y dresses, and last week I even went so far as to plan out which dress she would wear to which event, to make sure they got equal play (this is important when one of them was bought by a grannie! A grannie who was annoyed that the costume she bought Gwen didn't get worn for the Official Trick or Treating!). I thought Gwen could wear her red dress for the baby Christmas party on Friday, but that party got cancelled because of the snow. Then I thought Gwen could wear her lovely gold dress for the dinner tonight, but now we're not going. Church on Christmas Eve is looking pretty darn iffy as well. For the last few days, since we haven't been leaving the house at all, Gwen's just been wearing the same pair of jammies all damn day. This does *not* contribute to feeling like Christmas! Sometime in the next couple days I have got to pull it together, dress that girl up, and get in the spirirt.