Dr. Dave and my Drunken Daughter

Longtime readers and friends of Gwen may remember that when she was an infant, we took her to a chiropractor for a series of treatments.  This was recommended by our lactation consultant, who noted that Gwen’s tension did not go away when she was being held, and that her constant screaming may be due to musculo-skeletal issues, rather than gastrointestinal ones.  At five months of age, Gwen finally stopped screaming and our lives changed drastically.  In many ways, I consider that time to be when our lives as a family really began – when Gwen was freed from constant pain and was able to begin developing her personality and her interactions with the world.

I’ve taken her back on a very loose schedule since then for check-ups, probably once a year or so.  I decided the time had come again this past week.  I also wanted Dr. Dave to look into what I see as a lack of physical co-ordination.  I have seen Gwen go from standing still on a flat surface to falling down, with no provocation whatsoever.  I have also seen her bump into our walls and furniture on a weekly basis for years – walls and furniture that have been in the same place in our house for her entire life.  I have been wondering about this for a while, and even Googled “five year old daughter acts drunk and falls down a lot” – which led me to the Wikipedia page for dyspraxia, where I found out that…

Issues with gross motor coordination can include the following:

·  Poor balance (sometimes even falling over in mid-step). Tripping over one's own feet is also common.

·  Difficulty combining movements into a controlled sequence.

·  Difficulty remembering the next movement in a sequence.

·  Problems with spatial awareness, or proprioception.

·  This disorder can cause an individual to be clumsy to the point of knocking things over and bumping into people accidentally.  People with dyspraxia may also have trouble determining the distance between them and other objects

In addition to the physical impairments, dyspraxia is associated with problems with memory, especially short-term memory. This typically results in difficulty remembering instructions, difficulty organizing one's time and remembering deadlines, increased propensity to lose things or problems carrying out tasks which require remembering several steps in sequence (such as cooking). However, many dyspraxics have excellent long-term memories, despite poor short-term memory.

This may manifest itself as an inability to tolerate certain textures ... including oral toleration of excessively textured food (commonly known as picky eating).

All of these things are things we have noticed with Gwen.  We often laugh about the fact that Gwen has been toilet-trained for over two years, but needs to be reminded EVERY TIME that flushing and washing hands are part of the sequence of that job.  (This despite the fact that there are pictures on the bathroom wall showing her each step.)  We are also gobsmacked by Gwen’s inability to remember what Mom or Dad just said, in contrast to her propensity to out-of-nowhere recount a conversation we had several months ago, and what she said and what we said and where we were and what we were wearing and what show we watched later that day.  And don't get me started on her eating habits.

Anyway, whether there is something a little different about Gwen or whether this is just a bad case of Google paranoia is yet to be seen.  But her visit to Dr. Dave was quite enlightening.  He has a little boy about the same age, so he was able to put her at ease with his questions about Dora the Explorer and other relevant topics.  After she was comfortable, he began his examination, and soon discovered a few issues.  As he moved her head and arms around, he used a silly voice to point out to me the things he was seeing – “Oh look Mom, I can turn my head waaaayyyy over here on this side, but then on the other side it only goes to here!  Isn’t that funny?”  Of course Gwen found this hilarious and was giggling the whole time.  He then asked her to stand up and walk across the room towards him while he looked at her gait.  She did this three times: once in a ‘normal’ gait, once pretending to be a tightrope-walker and walking with front heel touching back toes, and once with eyes closed.  Well, more accurately, he asked and pleaded and begged her to do it with eyes closed, but she probably only took a step or two, with her arms pinwheeling madly.  She just couldn’t do it.

Next, he read a few sequences of numbers to her and asked her to echo them back, which she did without difficulty.  Then he sat down to tell us about what he’d found.  Looking directly at me, he said, “I see what you mean, mate,” (yes, he’s Australian, that’s how he talks and it’s totally charming).  “There are definitely some things going on that are not age-appropriate.”  I can’t tell you how validated I felt in that moment!  I am quite used to being “blown off” by any number of people when I bring up Gwen’s various quirks and foibles – “she’ll grow out of it,” “it’s just her age,” “she’s just like that,” and so on.  And maybe all those commenters are right, and I am sure the comments come from a place of love and compassion, but … I don’t like being blown off.  I want someone to see what I see, and to wonder about it, and to investigate whether it could be better.  And that’s what Dr. Dave did.

(As a side note, mothers with screaming miserable babies get blown off a lot too.  “Babies cry!” and “She’ll grow out of it,” were certainly things I heard a lot as a new mom – and as a new mom, I didn’t know any better.  Now I do.)

Dr. Dave continued: “Sometimes co-ordination issues like this are associated with auditory processing issues, which is why I did that test with the numbers.  When this problem is present, kids can hear fine, but they can’t process and use what they hear.  I don’t see that problem here, she seems fine on that.  But there is definitely some chiropractic work to be done, and we should be able to see some improvements.”

He did a couple of adjustments on her, one of which improved her ability to turn her head from side to side (which he demonstrated afterwards).  He indicated that there was more to be done, but that he didn’t want to push too hard with her in the first session, and we should come back in about a week to continue the treatments.  I am happy to do this: my benefits pay for a good portion of the fees, and he did the work to make Gwen comfortable with his treatments, so there is very little “cost” to this and potentially a significant benefit.

When I told all this to Chris later, I got validated all over again, as he asked whether we should be seeking help from other professionals about a confirmed “age-inappropriate level of physical co-ordination”.  I feel at this point that we should continue with Dr. Dave and see how far chiropractic treatments can take us.  If at the end of that we feel there is still a significant problem, then we can look into other solutions – Dr. Dave may even be able to make suggestions about where else to go.  But for now, we will stick with this treatment and see what happens.

 

No Naps, and Also No Sitting, But We're All Still Alive

I am so grateful for the responses I received to my anguish-filled post on the weekend. I guess the rewards of motherhood sometimes come from people other than your child.


It was very irresponsible of me to then not update for two days, perhaps leaving you all to believe that either Gwen or I met with an untimely end. This is not the case - we are both still alive, and in fact, even having some good times together. But for the past two days, I have done absolutely nothing to encourage Gwen to nap. All the fight has gone out of me for the time being. And because I am not spending upwards of three hours a day fighting with her to get her to sleep, we're both in better moods. On the other hand, it also means that she has slept 40 minutes on each of those days, so I haven't had time for things like this blog. Or, say, an entire uninterrupted thought. But whatever.


This afternoon as I was feeding Gwen some lunch in her high chair, she actually started to nod off. It was both hilarious and sad. Sad because I felt sorry for her, to be so damned tired that she was nearly falling asleep in the middle of a meal, in an uncomfortable position. Immediately, I weighed the options. I could let her fall asleep in the high chair and take funny pictures of her to post on my blog. Or I could take her upstairs and put her in the crib so she had a chance of a decent nap.


I took her upstairs. I'm not an uncaring mommy, just a tired one.


Anyway, we figure what is going on with Gwen is that something - teeth? tummy trouble? constipation? - is causing her enough pain that she cannot get to sleep unless she's completely exhausted. This theory is borne out by the fact that she pulled the same falling-asleep-in-the-highchair trick with her dad tonight over dinner. Her usual bedtime - the one we aim for, though she doesn't always play along - is 7pm. Tonight she was in her crib and dead asleep by 6:10pm.


In other news, I took Gwen to the chiropractor today to follow up and make sure the treatments she had in September are still effective post-crawling. Dr. Dave reports that while there is nothing at all wrong with her chiropractically speaking, he is concerned about her failure and/or disinterest in sitting. "Sitting unassisted for brief periods" is a six-month milestone - Gwen is going on nine months and doesn't sit at all, assisted or not.


I have mentioned this to various friends and family members in the past, and the response I usually get is , "Oh well, why would she want to sit, she's got places to go!" Which is true, she is a busy girl. But there's a difference between "cannot sit" and "cannot sit still". The inability to sit does impact her life: for example, she has to use a bath seat in the big tub, which reduces both her freedom to enjoy her bath and my ability to clean her effectively. Furthermore, because she can't or won't sit on my lap to eat finger foods, the only place I can feed her is a high chair - which greatly limits our ability to feed her at places other than our home.


Dr. Dave stressed that I should not freak out about this, and in fact I am not. I am, if anything, pleased that someone believes this is worth following up on, and is pointing me in the right direction of how to do so. Stay tuned for further (equally fascinating) bulletins in this area.
This is Gwen's version of sitting. She's up on her hip, not on her bum.

Milestones

I was just a smidge concerned recently - and probably wouldn't have been at all, if I wasn't a longtime reader of Schuyler's Monster - that Gwen didn't seem to be using any consonants in her babbling. She would say a lot of "ah ah ah" sounds, but no ba or da or ma or ga. A mere twelve hours after I confided my concern to Chris, Gwen started saying "ba ba ba". And she says it with great gusto and delight, too.



The other thing she's a bit behind on is sitting. She just doesn't seem to have any interest in it, to be honest. The picture below shows a typical moment where Gwen decides she doesn't want to sit on a lap anymore and arches her back until she's either standing or lying down.

I don't know why she's got such a hate-on for the sitting, given that it's one of my most favoured hobbies. At six months, she is supposed to be starting to sit unassisted for brief periods of time, but she won't sit at all unless you hold her forcibly in that position. My best guess is that the issues with her sacrum, which have since been worked on by her chiropractor and resolved, set her back a bit in that regard. I'm sure she'll get there eventually.



Another six-month milestone is the recognition of her own name. I tested this a few weeks ago, sitting to one side of Gwen and calling out to her. Sure enough, she turned towards the sound of my voice - trouble was, she didn't really seem to care if I called her "Gwen" or "Poohead". It was the tone and voice she was responding to, not the word itself. Although it's really funny to watch your infant daughter respond when you call her "Poohead", it's probably something we shouldn't do too often. In an effort to teach her her proper name, we've started using it to great excess. "Hello, Gwen's Dad," I will greet Chris when he comes home from work. "As you can see, Gwen is happy to see you. Aren't you, Gwen? Yes, Gwen, you are happy to see Gwen's Dad. Hey, Gwen's Dad, did I tell you that Gwen's name is actually Gwen? And not Poohead?"



The milestone that Gwen has reached and surpassed, on the other hand, is separation anxiety. Last week, my mother-in-law arrived for Gramma time while Gwen was asleep, and when she woke up, she was right pissed that I was nowhere to be found. She screamed for a solid 30 minutes, despite bottle, walking, shhing, and various other attempts to soothe and/or distract. Fortunately, I arrived home at about that time. I admit that leaving while she was asleep was not the ideal scenario, but there wasn't much else to be done at the time.



Even when Gwen is fully awake and in a social mood - which is most of the time - she is starting to really check in with me (or Chris, when he's around) about other people's attention to her. I went to meet my mom and her best friend at Woodgrove Mall this past weekend, as they were on the Island for some shopping and a theatre production. Gwen gave her Grannie (whom she doesn't see very often) a big gummy smile, then turned to find me and make sure I was still nearby. At this stage, it is still pretty flattering to know that she values me above all others, though I'm sure the novelty will wear off rapidly.



I read that separation anxiety is not actually the fear of being physically separated from the parent, but a cognitive stage - a realization that the infant is in fact a separate person from the parent, which causes fear as she realizes that I won't always be there. It's sad, but also exciting to realize that she is going through such complex learning.

Getting Better

I got an email from my Dad yesterday that read, in part, "it's obvious that you and Chris are so enjoying being a Mom and Dad, and that you just love your little girl to bits." What a lovely little pat on the back!

It's true, things are looking up around here (except for the sleep, which I'll talk more about in another post). Gwen is a much more relaxed and comfortable baby, which makes her by default happier and more fun to be around. I attribute this entirely to the chiropractic treatments. She is no longer in constant pain, so she doesn't have long spells of inconsolable crying. Funny how that works!

The other thing that's made a difference is me finally letting go of all the stress and guilt and anxiety about breastfeeding. This is huge. What surprises me is that once I made up my mind to let it go, it happened almost instantly. I thought it would be a more difficult process - what a nice surprise.

In fact, now that I'm more relaxed about the particular method in which Gwen gets fed, I wonder if we might end up weaning sooner than later. No firm decisions made on this yet, but I can see the end in sight, and I feel quite peaceful about that. But again, more on that in another post.

I don't think I mentioned here that last week, I took Gwen to see another pediatrician, one who is emphatically *not* an ass. He suspects that she may have some reflux, so we are giving her an antacid on a trial basis for a month to see if that makes a difference. On the whole, though, he thinks Gwen is fine and healthy and that her fussy/gassy spells will resolve in the next few months as her digestive tract matures.

Speaking of digestion - it's less than 4 weeks until Gwen is officially old enough for solid foods. We have started putting her in her Bumbo seat at dinnertime, with a little spoon and plate, so she can grow to associate those things with mealtime. She also gets a good view of us eating, so that will become a normal activity for her, and one that she will be ready to participate in soon. I am very excited about that!

Dear Gwen: Month Five

Dear Gwen,
Today you are five months old. I could probably fill this entire post with ramblings about how completely gobsmacked I am by that, but that would be terribly boring. Instead I will just indulge my sentimental sense of utter denial with two pictures.

(How did this happen, though? How did you go from being a tiny blob of baby to this amazing little person? And why can't I get over it?)

It blows my mind how smart you are. We just started putting you in the Exersaucer again after trying it out a month ago and deciding you were still too small. It took you about three and a half seconds to figure out how to spin around in it so you could take your pick of the toys at hand. And you immediately knew just how to use all those toys, and got down to business right away. When I watch you playing, I know there is a lot of truth to the saying that for babies and toddlers, play is work: you are developing all kinds of skills as you play. And you take that stuff seriously!

You are a busy little girl these days, constantly rolling from your back to your belly (which you've been doing since you were about 3.5 months old). I just learned today that apparently that is the more difficult roll to do, and that most babies don't do it until closer to 6 months, while rolling from belly to back is supposedly easier. You haven't rolled from belly to back in a while; in fact, you only do so when you're propped up on a blanket, which doesn't happen these days because if you're on your tummy chances are it's because you rolled there yourself. In any case, I'm pretty sure I know why you're a bit behind on that skill, as well as the sitting up milestone.

You see, this month I started taking you to the chiropractor, who identified a few issues that need work. For one thing, your sacrum doesn't move, which would make sitting really difficult as essentially you can't bend very well. And your right shoulder is ... well, I'd say "hooped" but let's go with the more elegant and optimistic "in need of adjustment" instead. This would definitely affect your ability to push up while on your tummy, which you would need to do in order to roll over. You have had three chiropractic treatments so far, and Dr. Dave thinks after one more you should be 'fixed' for the time being. We've definitely noticed some changes since beginning the treatments: you are crying less often, and when you do cry it's usually something we can fix with either food, a clean diaper, a cuddle, or a nap. Much nicer than the hours of inconsolable pain crying we endured before.

There is, however, one thing that still causes you pain. You have started teething. Although your Grannie was quick to point out that some babies have no problem with teething, clearly this is not the case for you (nor did I expect it to be). You are drooling a lot, constantly chewing on everything you can get your mouth on, and subject us to a fair bit of whining that we figure must be due to teething pain. I can feel one tooth on your bottom gum, but it will probably be a while before it appears. Based on what I've read, once the first tooth shows up you'll continue getting teeth at the rate of one every six weeks or so, and the teething symptoms will stick around for about two years. Oh, how delightful for all of us.

I have spent a lot of energy this month trying to create a more consistent routine for you, thinking that would help both of us get through our day. Thus far, it's not exactly a roaring success. I can usually predict how our day is going to go based on what time you wake up in the morning, but as that varies widely, so too does the day that follows. One might think that I could just alter your bedtime to affect your wakeup time and all the activities in between, but apparently you do not operate on that logic. So I'm coasting through life by the seat of my ill-fitting pants, unable to plan more than a day in advance. So far, though, I'm doing pretty well with that. I've learned that when it comes to making appointments, between 11:30 and 2:00 is workable, and outside of that could be compromising naptimes, so I do my best to stick to that.

This month has been the start of you and I really getting out and building a social life with some new activities, which is very exciting. You are an incredibly social baby, and whenever we are out in public people are drawn to you: not only because of your beauty, but because of the charisma and charm you exhibit. I get comments on it all the time, from everyone from your chiropractor (who apparently bragged about you flirting with him to his dinner party compatriots) to darling old grannies at the grocery store, and everyone in between. I'm really excited about us spending more social time together with other moms and babies, such as at our swimming lessons in November and our Mother Goose classes in January. Today I heard about an online group at meetup.com that organizes playdates for moms and kids in Nanaimo, and I can't wait to get plugged into that. It will be great for both of us.

Today you and I did something new: I took you to the gym and dropped you off at their childcare for the first time. This was your first time being looked after by someone other than family, and in a place other than our home. I think it went pretty well. As soon as we walked into the childcare room, where there was another five-month-old baby as well as a couple "big kids" of three or four years old, your face lit up. You couldn't wait to get out of your carseat and start making friends. It was a little nerve-wracking for me, leaving you there, but I figured it was an important step for both of us, and you did really well. I am so proud of you!

Your dad wants me to mention that you giggle a lot more now. You and he are quite taken with each other, and he can make you laugh just by saying an interesting word ("Osteopath!") in a slightly silly voice. The two of you are going to have so much fun together as you get older.

As always, darling Gwen, you enthrall us, you amuse us, and you light up our lives. We love you madly and are so happy to be your parents.

Love,
Mama

Gwen and Dr. Dave

Under the heading of "I'll try anything once..."

At our last meeting, which was cut short because Gwen was So Not In the Mood, KG noted that Gwen is a very rigid and tense baby. She wondered if she might be hypertonic, and suggested taking her to a chiropractor to be checked out. I found this interesting. Here Chris and I had always assumed that the frequent bouts of intense pain crying were due to a gastrointestinal issue, but we had never considered a musculo-skeletal cause. Anyway, I agreed to do so, and KG gave me the name of a local chiropractor - Dr. Dave - who specializes in children and infants. In fact, he spent several years in a clinic in Australia that did only pediatrics, so he's very experienced with the smaller set.

I took Gwen for her appointment today, and I think it was a positive experience. Not because Gwen didn't cry - she did, of course, because everything from the examination to the adjustments were weird and alien to her - but because she got over it really quickly. Usually after beginning to cry she will snivel on for a good long while to make sure everyone knows of her displeasure, but in this case as soon as I pulled her in for a soothing cuddle, she was over it and even flirted with the doc over my shoulder. If she forgave him that quickly, I suppose I can too.

The chiropractor did identify some issues, which is no surprise to me - at this point I basically assume that any specialist is going to have a particular reason related to his or her field that explains all of Gwen's fussy behaviours. Or to word it more cynically, what are the chances that the chiropractor would examine her and say, "Nothing wrong here, please take your baby and your money away and never come back!"? Be that as it may, I'm open to his interpretation and willing to pursue this for a few weeks at least, by which time we should be able to see some improvement.

According to Dr. Dave, Gwen's sacrum does not move. The reflexes in her feet are blocked because of this - when he tapped them with his mallet, they didn't respond at all. Further, her shoulders are quite locked up (the right worse than the left) and the top of her neck is out of whack as well (highly technical terms here, I know). He postulated that the problem with her neck might be causing the feeding problems, as the misalignment would cause her to want to put her head back, but she can't feed in that position; thus she would always be fighting a battle between her hunger and her desire not to be in pain. Which would cause her to feed-feed-feed-pull off, feed-feed-feed-pull off. Sounds bloody familiar, that does.

He did some adjustments and asked us to come back on Thursday for more. It will be a few sessions at least before we can see any results.