Gwen will be five months old tomorrow. We've been weighing her about twice a week since she was two months old, based on the recommendation of healthcare professionals. We have quite a bit of data on her weight.
And whether you take a big-picture or closely detailed view of it all, one thing is becoming increasingly obvious: the only times that Gwen gains weight appropriately are when we aggressively supplement her with formula. On the flip side of that coin, we can see that every time we have cut back on her formula in hopes that my supply would increase, Gwen's weight has stalled or even dropped.
So, we're done with trying to fight the inevitable. When my current bottle of Domperidone is empty, I'm not getting a refill. When my ucky herbal tincture runs out, I'm not ordering more. And when Gwen finishes nursing, she's damn well getting a bottle.
This is incredibly liberating. I feel really good about the decisions we've made, up to and including this one. Calling in a lactation consultant allowed me to feel that I really had done everything possible to maximize my nursing potential. And deciding not to follow her advice, but to go back to the one thing we know works for Gwen - a bottle after every feed - feels healthy and sane as well.
This doesn't feel like an end, but a new beginning. And it does kind of feel like it's about bloody time.