Tuesday, October 30, 2007

New baby, unexpected circumstances

There is a woman in my life - I can't even quite call her a friend, as we weren't quite there yet - who needs your thoughts and prayers today.

Melissa and I have been through a lot of drama and bullshit in the past, but in the last six months or so we've started emailing again, brought together by a mutual friend and the fact that we had something in common; we'd both miscarried our first pregnancies.

Through the past few months we lay our history aside in favour of being able to share the loss and pain of a miscarriage, and the difficulties of learning to trust and try again. There was a brief blip in our correspondence when she got pregnant again and didn't know how I'd react, but after a month or so she wrote to apologize, something she'd never done throughout our previous relationship. I forgave her, and was soon able to share the news that I was expecting again as well.

We were on our way to building a friendship, and emailed every few weeks or so about what kind of pregnancy symptoms we were having, how these things affected our relationships, work, and social lives, and what kind of choices we were making for our pregnancies, our births, and our lives with a newborn. We weren't quite ready to meet in person yet, but I knew the time would come. I looked forward to the upcoming births of our babies - hers in January, mine in May - not only for the events themselves, but as a way to transition into both motherhood and a true friendship.

I just found out - through that same mutual friend - that Melissa's baby was delivered on Saturday via emergency C-section. At only 27 weeks gestation, there must have been some very dramatic reason to get the baby out so fast, and the friend, justifiably so, feels it's not his story to tell. I sent a quick email to Melissa letting her know that I was thinking of her, and now all I can do is hope she'll email back when she has a moment to spare. But with a 2.5-pound baby in preemie care, and family members across the country to fill in, I'm sure I'm low on her list.

But I can pray for her, for her husband, and for their new son. So I will, and I hope you'll do the same.

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