In Which I Attempt to Trade Web Know-How for Muffins

Here's a laugh.  I read in a parenting book the other day that kids Gwen's age should have a vocabulary of approximately 50 words.  In case you've forgotten, Gwen hit 100 words sometime between 12 and 18 months, and since then I've stopped counting - but I'd be shocked if I learned that it was less than 200.  However, I'm not going to count, so I'm not going to learn that, so there are no shocks in my future on that score, at least.

In the very next paragraph, the book states that children 30 months old should have a vocabulary of about 1000 words.  Yes, you read that right.  Between 24 and 30 months, a child's vocabulary expands to twenty times its size.  (This sounds like I am writing ad copy for Sea Monkeys or something.)  Let's say instead that their vocabulary "twentibles" itself.  (Get it?  Not doubles or triples, but twentibles.)

So, you may have noticed I changed my blog layout.  I did!  I have actually been intending to do this for, um, a couple of weeks now, but I have this attention span problem.  I don't like to get started on any task that might take more than 5 minutes if I have any fear that I may be interrupted before finishing.  And since I am the mother of a toddler, there are actually no times in my life that I may rest assured I will not be interrupted.  So I have an awfully hard time starting things.  However, last weekend Gwen went to her grandparents' house so Chris and I could go see The Rocky Horror Show (live!) in Victoria, and this meant that I had a couple of free hours to myself in my house, and I determinedly sat down with the Blogger Template Designer and got 'er done.

Another thing about my blog.  There are ads on it.  There have been for a while, and nobody has ever grouched at me about it (though feel free to do so now if you like).  In all the time I have had ads on the blog, I have earned a grand total of thirty-four American dollars.  And I can't even have it, because Google AdSense won't pay you any money until you earn one hundred American dollars.  You wouldn't even believe how many hoops I had to jump through to get this far.  Anyway, there are all kinds of things you can do to customize your ads and make them more relevant to your readers (and thus, not only more clickable, but less offensive!), and generally Be Successful At Monetizing Your Blog, but I cannot for the life of me make heads or tails of the info AdSense sends me.  (There is also, of course, the issue of being too intimidated to try and work on it if I fear I may be interrupted.)  If anybody out there is willing to help me figure this out, I will give you some of my American dollars when they finally arrive in real life.  Or some other prize/favour if that is what you would prefer.  I am very good at making delicious muffins.

One more thing about the ads, and then I'll get back to talking about my amazing daughter: when I changed the layout, I changed the colour scheme of the ads to "Match Template" which is supposed to make the ad's colours, well, match the colours of my blog.  (Hey Dad!  You can skip this paragraph!)  First of all, I think that's just freakin' cool that that is an option.  Secondly, I'm not totally sure if it's working, so if you see an ad that's all clashy and obnoxious, tell me and I'll try and fix it. 

So yes, I have this daughter.  I had this post in the works where I described in intricate detail how awful her tantrums were, but really I can summarize it thusly: Gwen's desire to be independent does not make her happy.  It makes her ENRAGED and sometimes ANGUISHED.  By the time you realize that whatever you just did or said threatened her independence, DRAMA HAS ENSUED and you will now have to spend the next 3-10 minutes calming her down.  Once you calm her down, you will have to encourage her to ask for what she wants in a "big girl voice" so as not to teach her that tantrums work.  This may take two seconds, or two minutes, or may cause another tantrum.  You never know!  Unpredictability is part of the fun!

I think we are getting better, as a family, at handling the tantrums.  I have to work on remembering that my job as Mama is not to just make Gwen happy all the time.  The urge to just solve her problems (aka give in to the weeping toddler) is very strong, but serves no one.  I am already better at withstanding the whining.  But let me just say, in case there is anyone out there who hasn't heard: Man, parenting is hard.  I think that will become a refrain around here in the next year.

Anyway, I will close with three pieces of awesomeness. Awesomeness the First: the longest sentence I've heard Gwen use, which she said yesterday: "Monkey have a drink too." Awesomeness the Second: this picture.

(We told her to make a rock star face.)

And Awesomeness the Third: genuine conversations with my daughter.

Me: Gwen, did you have a good time with Gramma and Grandpa?

Gwen: And Fritz!

Me: Yes, Fritz too!  Did you play with them?

Gwen: Playground!

Me: You went to the playground!  How fun!

Gwen: Slide!  Swings!  Grandpa!
Me: Wow, you went on the slide and the swings!  That's so great!

Gwen: Oooh, a plane!

Me: A plane?  Where?

Gwen: Right there!  It's fast!

Chris: It sure is - planes go very fast!

Me: Gwen, do you remember when we went on a plane?

Gwen: Auntie! Andrew! Scotty!

Me: That's right, we went on a plane to visit Auntie Sara, and Andrew, and Scotty.  And Uncle Dave too!  Can you say Uncle Dave?

Gwen: Uncle ... Mikey!

Me: That's pretty close!  (Forgive her, Uncle Dave, she's seen her Uncle Mikey a lot more recently!)

The Blogosphere is Taking Over!

On Friday night Chris and I watched Julie and Julia. Just in case you haven't seen or heard of this movie, it's about a young woman living in New York who decides to spend a year making every single one of Julia Child's recipes in the famed book, "Mastering the Art of French Cooking." I was excited to see this movie for many reasons. First, it has been getting good reviews and looked, from the trailer, to be funny and enjoyable. Secondly, it was well-cast with two brilliant actresses: Meryl Streep and Amy Adams. But even more than that, I was stoked because this movie is about a blogger. The movie was based on a book, which was in turn based on a blog. Written by a young woman living in New York who decides to spend a year making every single one of Julia Child's recipes in the famed book, "Mastering the Art of French Cooking." And blogging about it.

I am a blog addict. It's true. I am bigtime hooked on blogs, and in a very real (and mentally unbalanced) way these people are important to me. I shed real tears when one "my" bloggers experiences tragedy. I yell "YES!" at my computer screen when one of them takes a leap of faith. Posts about the daily lives of strangers - insightful, witty*, thought-provoking, inspiring, hilarious, envy-producing, empathy-creating, and so on - genuinely affect my mood and my day. Yes. I told you I was unbalanced.

*Not actually a stranger. Hi, Amber!

So you can imagine how much it blows my tiny mind when the blogosphere becomes more real somehow. I've read several books that are based on and/or written by my favourite bloggers: Cringe, Things I Learned From My Dad (in Therapy), Sleep is for the Weak, Schuyler's Monster, Why Girls are Weird, and of course, It Sucked and Then I Cried. I've read dozens more books that I first heard about through blogs, the same way other people might get book recommendations from, you know, actual real life people that they meet with on a regular basis to spend time socializing ... what do they call those people? Oh yeah, FRIENDS. Anyway, my point is that when a blogger writes a book, s/he comes to the attention of the (perhaps dwindling? we hope?) portion of the population that still thinks blogs are weird. Depending on how the book is written and marketed, these Mainstream Non-Internet-Addicted People may not even KNOW that they are reading a book based on a blog, a book that probably wouldn't even exist if not for that Weird Blogging Thing.

And this, finally, is my point: the movie Julie and Julia is not just about a young woman living in New York who decides to spend a year making every single one of Julia Child's recipes in the famed book, "Mastering the Art of French Cooking." It's about a young woman living in New York who decides to spend a year making every single one of Julia Child's recipes in the famed book, "Mastering the Art of French Cooking and blogging about it. You can't miss the blogging: it's a major plot point of the movie, and there are several scenes that feature voiceovers that are word-for-word source (blog!) material. The film deftly draws parallels between Child's struggle to complete and publish her cookbook, and the young blogger's struggle to identify herself as a writer, essentially equating both types of authorship. That is a powerful message for the rest of us young bloggers, whether or not we dream of book deals. It's a powerful message for the rest of the world, too, those who wonder why we insist on documenting the fascinating minutiae of our lives and sharing it with perfect strangers.

As mentioned above, the movie has been well-received by both audiences and critics, and I was deeply impressed with the humour, the performances, the writing, every last detail down to the sets and costumes. I adored the way Julie and Julia's stories were woven together, and naturally I drooled over the food. This film has even inspired me to at last forgive writer/director Nora Ephron for Sleepless in Seattle. (I will probably still rip into her another day, however, for her book "I Feel Bad About My Neck", anti-feminist tripe that it is.) But really, you can learn about all those aspects on many other sites (or even magazines, newspapers, and non-print media like television and FRIENDS!). Here at Blogging For Two, you'll hear about why this movie makes MY life better, because it's all about me. It makes my life better because it makes blogging a justifiable and valued pastime, hopefully clarifying to the masses why it is we do this thing we do. Making it more normal. Apparently sales of Child's book have surged since the movie's release ... I wonder if there has been a similar increase in blog usage?

As a footnote: Heather B. Armstrong, one of the "realest" bloggers out there, has become just a bit more real. Apparently spurred on by being featured as a Jeopardy! question, she has now decided to take over the world of television by signing a deal with HGTV. Holy shit, y'all. Blogger be UNSTOPPABLE.

Oh, AND? About six months ago, Intel decided to sponsor a blogger's life list. As in, that list of a hundred things you'd like to do before you die - now paid for in full, and all you have to do is write about it. Now THAT is real, my friend!

But most importantly - Annabelle. Welcome, sweet girl!

There are 27 links in this post. Amuse me and tell me how many of them you ended up clicking.