Random Snowy Update

It's snowing like mad here. Supposed to get another 15cm today. The same thing happened on Saturday, and we ended up staying overnight at the in-laws (we were there for dinner and didn't want to risk driving home). I'm quite surprised there is still traffic on the roads at the moment, but I'm betting within 15 minutes that will change.

The snow changes our plans quite a bit for the day. Karen was supposed to come over for Gramma time, but we decided to cancel that - not only should she stay home in case her power goes out (since they live in a rural area), but heck, it's not like I'm going to drive anywhere in this mess. I didn't really have anything critical to do anyway - my shopping is done, I was just going to hit the library and the gym and drop off a Christmas card to a friend.

Fortunately, Chris decided to stay home too. He was planning to drive to Port Alberni for work today. I was terrified that he'd get stuck out there and I'd be alone with Gwen for a day or two. Not that I couldn't handle that, of course, but having some backup is extremely helpful!

Speaking of Gwen, since this blog is supposed to be about her, I should report that she can now crawl. Having a mobile child has already taught me some interesting lessons, such as the true filthiness of my floor. I already knew neither of us were great housekeepers, but when I pick Gwen up from the floor and her clothes look like I've been using her tummy as a duster, well, there's a problem.

Also. Why is it that Gwen cannot manage - despite persistent efforts on her part - to get her veggies into her mouth, but dust bunnies make it there every time?

Gwen is also sleeping very well. There is not a shred of exaggeration when I say, "sleep training changed my life". It changed all of our lives. We've been 'on the program' for five weeks and naptime/bedtime is so much less of a challenge now. One misconception I had about sleep training is that it would lessen over time and that by this point, there would never be any tears, but that has not proved to be the case. I would say that most of the time Gwen goes to sleep without any kind of trauma, but once in a while - say, 15% of the time? - there is still a brief period of fuss and drama before she drifts off. I guess after the first night, when she cried for 14 minutes, I thought that time would progressively shorten every night until it was no crying, none of the time, and that has not turned out to be the case. Still, it's so much better than it was, and I'm so proud of her (and us!) for getting through the tough parts. I now have confidence that she can sleep pretty much anywhere, given a few familiar items and rituals.

I've been doing a lot of random tidying and organizing in the past couple of weeks, which I suppose is an effort to make room for our Christmas loot (and by "our" I mean "Gwen's"). I've had the freedom and ability to do this because a) I've been getting enough sleep at night to have the energy to get it done, and b) Gwen has become a much more contented girl as her mobility and independence have grown. For the past few weeks, before the mechanics of official crawling completely fell into place, she's been kind of semi-mobile: throwing her arms forward and dragging her lower body along behind her. There have been long periods of time, up to an hour even, where she is utterly happy to just mosey around the floor, exploring all kinds of things, while I sit nearby or putter around at some task or other. She's happy to know that I'm there, but she doesn't demand my attention. It was that perfect 'sweet spot' where she was mobile enough to entertain herself, but not mobile enough that I had to watch and follow her every second. I think that second stage will be arriving any day now. We'll be installing the baby gates today, by the way, and fullblown child-proofing will be getting underway next week.

Whiiiiiiiine.

I have a nasty head cold. I think it's the third one I have had since giving birth. This is remarkable for two reasons: first, because when I was pregnant I had no colds whatsoever the entire time, so I've kind of forgotten how awful being sick is. Second, because when you are a nursing mom you can't take any freakin thing to make you feel better.


It's a very, very bad sign when you spend the entire night fantasizing about decongestants. Not winning the lottery, not discovering a calorie-free ice cream, not even a guaranteed method of getting your baby to sleep for 12 hours straight. Just plain old cold medication. The stuff that dreams are made of!


Even herbal stuff is contraindicated. I tried buying some herbal tea that was supposed to help decongestify me, but the box said "Not for nursing mothers". Even echinacea is off the list. The only thing I can actually take is Vitamin C, and whether that will even do any good is up for debate.


Seriously, how do other moms deal with this? I've had three colds this winter already, and we all know that being a mom increases the odds of getting sick as our kids share their toys and germs with equal devotion. And some moms breastfeed for years. Are we supposed to just suffer through the repeat illnesses, clinging to our Kleenex boxes and slogging around in a daze? There has got to be something out there that's safe for nursing moms. Otherwise we're going to flood the world with the force of our collective mucous.

Healthful Eating Habits

One of the things I really want my daughter to achieve is a healthy relationship with food. I've mostly given up on genuinely achieving this for myself, though I can fake it really well. I've been pondering the ins and outs of this for the past little while as I introduce more and more foods to her, and try to lay the groundwork for her eating habits.

I've been attending Weight Watchers meetings for over three years, and we spend a lot of time at those meetings talking about, for lack of a better term, the psychology behind eating habits - whether healthy or not. We talk about comfort eating and emotional eating. Lately when I listen to and participate in these discussions I think not only of my own long-established habits and attitudes, but how I can help Gwen in the formation of her own habits and attitudes.

Thinking like this has certainly allowed me to see where those unhealthful habits get formed, though. We're dealt it right from the start. Take comfort eating, for example. As adults, we know we should eat for fuel, not for emotional comfort, and we strive to break that connection. But for an infant, there is no division between comfort and food. When Gwen was so tiny she couldn't even understand that I was a person, when all she knew was that she felt good and safe when I was nearby, she also learned that I was the source of food. The feel of a mother's skin, the scent of her, the warmth, the connection, the love ... and food. All in one. Is it any wonder we form those associations?

Nowadays, Gwen is getting most of her nutrients from a bottle, which she can mostly hold herself. She eats solids once a day and usually nurses (if only briefly) 2-3 times a day. And more and more, those nursing sessions are all about comfort, connection, and cuddling, rather than nutrition. I know because recently I counted how many times Gwen sucked before swallowing during nursing, and it was about 15 times. It used to be she would swallow every 2-3 sucks, but there's just not that much milk there anymore. Moreover, the times she requests nursing are emotionally dependent times: when she is tired, when we've been apart, when she's hurt. My point is, Gwen is definitely forming those comfort-food associations.

And let me be clear, I don't think there's *anything* at all wrong with that. I'm enjoying breastfeeding all the more now that it's a somewhat rare activity, and it makes me feel really good that I can make her so happy during those moments. And I'm certainly not worried that because she has those associations now, they will continue through the years and doom her to a lifetime of poor food choices. I just think it's interesting to observe how the habits that are so derided in adult life are all but impossible to avoid in the early months and years. And to wonder where one draws the line, and how.

Another interesting phenomenon is that of social eating. In our culture, it's hard to find any instance of social communal behaviour that doesn't include food - and usually, way too much of it. Think about it - the main event of the major holidays (Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving) is a gigantic, gluttonous meal, and the theme of many others (Valentine's Day, Halloween, Easter again) is stuffing ourselves with chocolate and candy. Birthday parties centre around cakes. Anniversaries and other celebrations are marked by going out for dinner. You can't even get together with a friend or colleague just for the sake of conversation - you're "going out for coffee".

This is a major bugbear of mine, and I have some ideas about how to mitigate the negative effects of these customs as Gwen grows up. For example, I'd love it if we spent part of those humungous 'feast days' going for a walk as a family. (I'd love it even more if the meals themselves were healthful and well-portioned, but until I'm willing to take on the task of making and hosting them myself, I can't complain too much about that.)

On a smaller scale, we know that sharing meals as a family is a healthy thing to do. It builds our family connections, and there have been studies done to show that girls who eat dinner with their families on a regular basis are less likely to experience eating disorders. It's one of my goals for the New Year to get the three of us eating the same meals, at the same time (right now we have three separate meals at three separate times!). I am really looking forward to re-establishing the tradition of family meals, which was a cornerstone of my own upbringing.

But once again, looking at this from an infant's perspective turns the idea on its head. The nutritionist at the Health Unit encourages us to let the babies feed themselves when they begin solids, because spoonfeeding your baby is an interactive, attention-giving experience, and babies may overeat just to keep the interaction going. That is to say, the babies might be grooving more on the social aspects of the meal than the nutritive ones. (Obviously, with our teeny little 15-pound 7-month-old, this isn't exactly a huge concern for us.)

So let me get this straight. We don't want to teach our kids to associate mealtime with social interaction, because it might make them overeat. But then again, we want to establish mealtime as a family event that we share together, because that will make them less likely to have eating disorders. What a minefield! It's no wonder most of us have bad eating habits.

Just like everything else about parenting, you just do your best and cross your fingers. Wish I had time for more thoughtful conclusions on the topic, but the little darling is awake and I must run!

News from Gwenville

• Gwen's two bottom front teeth continue to rise. They are now occasionally visible without placing your whole head inside her mouth. Feeding her is becoming a risky business as she is quite likely to bite.
• Gwen is working *really* hard at learning how to crawl. Her latest mode of locomotion is to pull herself along with her arms, not realizing that her legs can get in on the action too instead of just dragging behind like useless appendages. She'll get there.
• Gwen is becoming incredibly active and into things. In the 30 seconds during which she lies on the counter after a bath, being towelled off, she usually grabs the objects within reach - keychains, phone cord, and two power cords - about 4,839,015 times.
• Many other moms have put up their Christmas trees and report that their babies show no interest in them. Based on the previous two items, I am thinking that this lack of interest will not occur in our house, and as such have decided to delay the Christmas tree until December 23rd. We'll probably take it down on the 27th. This is very, very unlike me.
• We are taking Gwen to get her pictures done with Santa on Monday. I am a bit apprehensive about this, as she is not too interested in strangers at the moment. I feel sure we're going to end up with something like these.
• Gwen is learning to wave bye-bye. Bye-bye, Gwen!

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