Offhand

A small glimpse into how my brain works. Over the past week I have been the recipient of two remarks, one of which wounded and upset me and one which didn't. In both cases, the results are surprising.

Remark #1: I was telling a colleague about my recent trip to Seattle. She remarked, "Well, I'm really glad that even in your current situation, you can still do things like that." For days, I could not let go of this remark. I felt like I had to defend myself, pointing out that I spent weeks preparing for a yard sale that netted me $250 and that I socked that money away for Christmas shopping. Or admit that actually, my mom paid for the hotel as well as the gas to get us there, because she knew I couldn't afford to chip in. I heard that remark and I thought of all the scrimping and saving I did for this trip, and how heavy the 'careful' mindset weighed on me through all our shopping. At the same time, it's ridiculous to want to defend myself, because my colleague has no idea her remark made me feel in need of defense. I'm sure she forgot about the entire conversation immediately after it ended.

Remark #2: A new mommyfriend was looking at a framed wedding picture on my wall. "How long ago did you get married?" she asked. "It was five years ago this fall," I responded. "Hmm, it's funny how we age, isn't it." I didn't even have time to process this remark when she suddenly exclaimed, "OH MY GOODNESS! I didn't mean that the way it sounded." We had a good laugh and agreed that it did sound really terrible, and it's true that parenthood makes us age faster. Hours later when the playdate ended she apologized again, but to me it wasn't a big deal. It's true: I am five years older than the woman in that wedding picture. And they were really full and intense years, too. But I wouldn't want to change any of those events, so why would I regret the changes to my own appearance that have taken place at the same time? I'm not an appearance-obsessed person to begin with, but of all the appearance-changing efforts people go through and all the related products they buy, aging seems to me to be the most silly. We all get old. That's not an insult. There's nothing in the world that could make me want to be sixteen again, so by that same token I'd better embrace and enjoy the fact that I'm thirty-six, and look it.

Meme Monday

For NaBloPoMo, I decided to update my old "100 Things About Me" list and run 25 items for each of the Mondays in November. Here is part three.

The best way to my heart is through my funny bone.
I have always known how to spell.
I don't like talking on the phone in front of other people. I don't know why.
Also, I only use my left ear when talking on the phone.
My parents sent me to a psychiatrist when I was little. I have never asked them why - or why they stopped.
I think everyone in the world could benefit from some good counselling. It should be as accessible and de-stigmatized as massage or dentistry.
I don't have any secrets to send PostSecret, because I talk too much.
My best friend is a man who is not my husband.
I haven't slept with him, either.
I think people who complain that it's way past the year 2000 and we don't have any flying cars deserve a smack upside the head.
I love stand-up comedy.
I often offend people without meaning to.
Also, people have a hard time differentiating my sincere tone and my sarcastic tone.
I don't drink or smoke, and never have.
I have a strong aversion to the non-word "hubby". It just makes me cringe.
I have a rage reaction to misquoted idioms such as "for all intensive purposes" and "once and a while".
If I make a mistake while typing and don't notice it until I've typed a few more words, I won't use the mouse to selectively correct it. Instead, I use the backspace key and delete all the correct words back to the mistake.
I find the plots of horror movies compelling, but I can't actually watch them without sustaining mental damage and losing a great deal of sleep.
I never get the fitted sheet aligned right on the first try.
I don't understand the need to call things other than what they are (Crappy Tire, compu-tor, Home Despot,etc. Why?)
I am scared of those weird inflatable flappity people they use to advertise sales at sports stores.
I give blood as often as possible.
I believe in vaccinations and I usually get my flu shot.
I once yelled at someone from the Health Authority because they wouldn't tell me where to get my flu shot.
Two weeks later, I had a job with the Health Authority.

The Aunts Go Marching

Three Quick Takes

1. I have an Etsy store now. I sell things like the above, all handmade by me. Please come check it out and pass on the link. Also, if you actually know me in person, you can buy direct from me and save paying the Etsy commission. Not only is this an excellent creative outlet for my stressful life, but it's kind of nice to make a bit of pocket money.

2. I have to talk at church tomorrow. I did not volunteer, but neither did I say no, when I was asked to speak to my experiences with the Advent Conspiracy and challenge the congregation to donate monies towards clean water. I'm really really nervous. "Why are you so nervous? You've done this all before!" Yes. At a different church. Yeah ... I kind of never told you guys I changed churches, did I? I did. And I'm brand new and I'm going to get up and talk and no one even knows who I am and I'm nervous. Let's change the subject now.

3. It snowed last night. This morning we made the tiniest snowman ever. Then Gwen ate its head. Not even kidding.

(Look very carefully, near her right foot is our tiny snowman. What's left of him.)

Friday Five: Gratitude

Five things I've been feeling grateful for:


1. I had a terrific time in Seattle with my mom and sister. We had excellent shopping and a lot of laughs together. The concept of going Christmas shopping together, picking out stuff for each other and then getting an immediate yes/no, as well as making suggestions about what our kids and husbands would like is ... in a word ... awesome. Definitely need to continue this tradition.


2. Also, an offhand remark I heard on this trip has got me thinking about Christmas in a new way. I know it's hip to be really angry about the cheesy Christmas music and the elaborate decorations and especially the way that these things start on November 1st (or even earlier). But you know what? It's a season. It's more than a day. I recognize that stores profit from making that season start earlier and earlier and whipping us all into a consumeristic frenzy, but I can opt out of the consumer madness and still enjoy the season. And I do.


3. Speaking of Christmas (just over 5 weeks away!), I am really looking forward to it this year. I feel like we got a little bit ripped off last year in the Christmas spirit department, and I'm not going to allow that to happen again. Gwen and I are going to have lots of delightful Christmas-related fun throughout the season. Chris will likely be at the mall dealing with the consumer frenzy, but there's not much I can do about that. On the horizon: The Santa Parade, The Bethlehem Walk, The Singing Christmas Tree, and the Christmas Pantomime, maybe the Ladysmith Light Up. That doesn't even count the usual visit to Santa, travelling to see her cousins, and the stuff she will be doing with her preschool, which seems to be pretty extensive as well. I am pretty stoked about having a kid who is old enough to enjoy, anticipate, and be as excited about these events as I am! I wonder what she'll ask for in her letter this year ...


4. I had my best ever Hip Hop class this week. A couple of weeks ago, it was Halloween and I went to Hip Hop class and only one other student showed up. That was legitimately terrifying, because there weren't a dozen other people for me to hide behind: my incompetence was in plain sight. Anyway, this week we did the same choreography that we did at that Halloween class, and guess what? I sucked less! Because I am starting to learn! I was very pleased. One of the things I really value about the class, and that made me feel comfortable signing up for it, is that the choreography changes every time; we are not practicing the same routine every week in preparation for a recital. (This also means that missing a class here and there, which I can't avoid, doesn't set me back.) So it's pretty amusing to me that in fact, doing the same choreography more than once actually makes a huge difference to my enjoyment of the class.




5. I have an amazing daughter who makes me laugh every day. She is such a joyful and exuberant girl. I am a lucky Mama.