Dear Gwen: Month Sixty-Four

Dear Gwen,

Today you are sixty-four months old.  This is your last newsletter as a preschooler; in only a few short days, you will officially be a ‘kindergartener’!

You are pretty excited about school, and I feel like the past two months of summer camp have done a lot to prepare you for the new adventures ahead.  You seem to be so much more a big kid than you were in June.  You can now use a public washroom alone, including locking and unlocking the stall door; you can look after your own backpack and assembled possessions all day (with, I’m sure, thoughtful reminders from your camp leaders); you can walk up to an unknown child, introduce yourself, and initiate shared play.  Kindergarten, here you come!

You have always been pretty keen on maintaining your independence, but that desire for competence has become an intense need in the past few weeks.  You crave being able to do things for yourself, whether it’s putting your shoes on, tidying up your books, or feeding your new fish, Little Blue.  And yes, I put this drive to work by asking you to do chores from time to time: setting the table, putting away your laundry, putting away groceries.  Though you have always been determined, I see a new ability in you to stick with a challenging task and not give up in frustration, as well as the ability to ask for help (‘help’ meaning ‘describe the steps to this task in words, DO NOT EVEN try to put your hands on it and do it for me) when you are stuck.  It’s pretty amazing and I can’t help thinking that these skills, if maintained, will serve you well through your entire life!

Last month you and I went to our family cabin on the lake for a long weekend with Grannie and Grandpa, and you were determined to show your independence there too.  We had already gone for approximately forty-five pedal-boat rides, and I was getting out of the boat and about to help you tie it up, when the boat floated out of my reach – with you in it.  I tried to explain to you how to steer and pedal it back towards the dock, but by the time you managed this I realized that you were actually pretty capable of handling the boat yourself.  You were wearing a lifejacket, the water was less than fifteen feet deep, and I trusted you to holler if anything went awry.  The rest of the weekend was much more enjoyable for both of us, as you got to ride the pedal-boat as much as you liked, and I got to sit on the deck and watch you as much as I liked.  The addition of the neighbour’s beautiful and personable golden retriever who just wanted you to throw balls for her all day, something you were all too happy to do, made for a marvelous holiday – you and Molly kept each other wonderfully busy!

It was just last month I remember remarking to another parent that I’d been singing you the same sleepy songs every night since you were only a few months old, and that the time couldn’t be far away when you would decide those songs were too babyish for you.  Well, the time has come!  After a few nights when you requested no sleepy songs whatsoever, I thought to mention to you that I could sing other songs, not just simple lullabies about the moon and sheep and water.  So now, you get to request whatever songs you like at bedtime!  Your current favourites are two songs from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat: Benjamin Calypso (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qH0OimqrSnM) and One More Angel in Heaven. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0lJV4vOkAQ).  Best part?  You sing along.  Ending every day by singing with you is pretty awesome!

You have started going to karate, which you absolutely adore.  Unlike any other activity in your life, when you get home from karate you tell me ALL ABOUT IT WITHOUT ME EVEN ASKING.  Every other activity it’s like pulling teeth to try and get you to share your experiences, but with karate you are BURSTING to tell me what happened that day!  And in just the few weeks since you started, you have already learned a lot – I know, because you tell me so!  After your first class, you told me about your favourite game, and how you were eliminated in the first round (the game involves moving around the dojo and then ‘freezing’ quickly when the Sensei calls “Hajime!”).  Your next class, you told me you had been eliminated after a few rounds.  The next week, you made it almost to the last round.  And this past week, you told me you were the second-to-last person to be eliminated!  Amazing!  You were so excited when Dad took you to get your uniform so that you could look like the other kids in class, and you love to show me your kiai (that’s when you get to yell at the same time that you punch or kick).  You are obviously very keen on karate, and of course your Japanophile Dad could not be more proud!

Some other big adventures this past month include seeing the Snowbirds doing an aerial display over Nanaimo, watching the RCMP Musical Ride, and going to the Comox Air Show with your dad, Grandpa, and “Excellent Uncle Rick” (isn’t that a more fun term than ‘Great Uncle’?).  It’s pretty neat that you are at an age to enjoy and appreciate all these events, and I really love sharing them with you (though I was more than happy to skip the air show and have a day to myself with an empty house – ahhh!).  Hanging out with you is more fun all the time as you become more mature and interesting, and we get to have some really cool conversations.

One fascinating conversation we had recently demonstrates the side of your personality most people don’t get to see – your calm, thoughtful side.  Most people see your energetic, fun-loving side – it’s obvious, and it’s almost always on.  But there is another side to you, where you think very deeply about things, and want to understand how things are going to work, and how you fit in to it all (so much like me!).  Recently, we got a letter in the mail from your new elementary school, that included a questionnaire about your likes, dislikes, habits, knowledge, etc.  This is all part of the kindergarten entry process and the information from the questionnaire, as well as an interview we will attend with your potential teachers, will be used to determine which class and teacher you end up with.  A couple of the questions, “What are your child’s favourite stories?”, and “What activities does your child enjoy?” I decided to ask you directly rather than try to guess.  So I explained what the questionnaire was and who it was from and what it was for, and asked you about favourite stories and activities.  You gave me good answers, but you also saw that there were lots of other questions on the sheet.  You wanted to know what they were.  And you saw that I had already written a lot of words.  And you wanted to know what I’d written.  So there I was, reading the whole questionnaire to you, listening to your own thoughts and ideas about discipline and group participation and obedience.  It was REALLY eye-opening!  The last question was, “Do you have any concerns or questions about kindergarten?” and Gwen answered, “Yes.”  “What question do you have?”  “I want to know, will there be any time when I just get to play and do what I want?”  What a GREAT question!  After I assured you that there would be, and marveled inwardly at your thoughtfulness, you asked another important question: “What toys do they have?” I guess we’ll get to find out pretty soon!

You have started to be a lot more interested in printing lately, and will often ask me how to spell a certain word so that you can print it out.  You have been printing a lot of things that say “I <3 a="" again="" agreed="" also="" battleships.="" bedtime.="" ce="" chapter.="" couple="" cream.="" do="" entire="" evening="" have="" lists="" names="" nbsp="" of="" on:="" on="" or="" part="" plans="" printed="" s="" span="" that="" them.="" there="" thoughtful="" times="" to="" u="" various="" want="" we="" what="" with="" you="" your="">

Well Gwen, it’s been an amazing month and I feel so excited to help you into kindergarten in the coming weeks.  It feels like your life is about to change and grow in new directions and I can’t wait to see what’s next.  I love you always, a million billion kajillion and five!

Love,
Mama

PS Bonus pictures!

Dear Gwen: Month Sixty-Three

Dear Gwen,

Today you are sixty-three months old.

First day of school, last day of school.

Life with you is becoming even more entertaining and amazing, as you continue to become even more yourself.  You say and do the most hilarious and thought-provoking things.  A few days ago, we were listening to a song whose lyrics said, “The mother of a thousand sons.”  “Why not a thousand daughters?” you asked – your Dad thinks this is your first feminist critique! 

You have been at summer camp now for three weeks (although you only go three times a week).  You are really enjoying it as the camp is full of all kinds of great activities and field trips to waterparks, playgrounds, beaches, and even visits to the karate school and the gymnastics school.  Your first week there, you ended the day exhausted and out of sorts – I should have been more aware that this transition would have worn you out.  After all, it’s the first time in your life when you have to look after and carry your own backpack every day, and since your camp takes the city bus around town there is a lot of walking to and from the bus stop, which you are not used to.  You seem to have adjusted now, though, and are enjoying all the different field trips.

After the first week of summer camp, out of the blue, you told me that “One day at summer camp, I was on the bus, and I looked out the window and saw that my team was off the bus and I didn’t know it was time to get off the bus.”  Well, like any red-blooded mother I FREAKED THE HECK OUT and started imagining scenarios where you were left on a city bus all alone.  Also, knowing you as I do, I know it is not so implausible that you might not hear the leaders’ prompt to get off the bus, and that 15 seconds of inattention might lead to very scary circumstances.  But I tried to keep all this freaking out inside as I asked you, “Well, what did you do?”  You responded that the bus was still stopped and so you got off the bus and went to your team.  I tried to find out if other people from the camp were sitting with you, but you are not always so good at giving straight, focused answers, so I settled for trying to assume the best: for all I knew, there was a leader standing in the aisle staring straight at you and waiting patiently for you to disembark.

All the same, though, I decided to implement a little safety net for you.  When we went to Disneyland earlier this year, we made a laminated ID tag for you to wear around your neck (under your clothes) with your name, our name, and my cell phone number.  If you were to get separated from us, you knew to find someone who worked at the park and show them the tag so that they could get in touch with us.  I decided to do something similar for summer camp.  Since you carry around your backpack every day, and it is clearly labeled with your name, I just added my cell phone number – and made sure you knew I had done this.  The strategy I shared with you was that if you were separated from your group, or anything else went wrong, you could talk to the bus driver or a parent with kids, show them the tag, and ask them to call your mom.

The following week at summer camp, when I came to pick you up, one of the leaders told me how well-trained you were.  She had been encouraging you to pick up the pace and walk a little faster to the bus stop after a trip to the beach, and told you that “If we miss the bus, we’ll be stuck for an hour waiting for the next one, and we don’t want that to happen!”  Well, as is sometimes the case, you seem to have misinterpreted this somewhat, and perhaps concluded that you would be waiting for the bus ALL BY YOURSELF.  So you showed her the tag on the backpack and said, “Call my Mom!”  All ended well: the leader reassured you, and you all made it to the bus on time, but she was impressed that you knew what to do in case of a problem!

On the whole, I have seen a new independence blossom in you, and the expectations set at summer camp are only part of that, I think.  You have become much more helpful in day-to-day life, as well.  It’s usually just you and me on the weekends, and in addition to fun adventures and playdates, chores have to be done as well.  I often find myself responding to your requests to play with a statement like, “I have to fold this laundry.  You can help me fold it, or you can wait until I’m done, and then we can play.”  Lately, you are far more likely to respond that you want to help.  Sometimes, when you are playing and I am busy with chores such as cooking, you will come to see what I am doing and then ask to help without me having suggested it.  You are eager and excited to help, and for routine tasks like buttering your toast or putting together a lunch you are starting to want to do it yourself.  I’m pretty excited and amazed by that!  I hope I can encourage you to continue this trend of independence and of being interested in learning and helping.

You seem to have a growing self-awareness, as well, and unfortunately one of the things you have become aware of is your tendency to be forgetful or distracted.  That is one of the things most likely to cause an argument between the two of us: I send you upstairs to put on your pajamas, for example, and fifteen minutes later I discover you lying on the floor of your room, half-naked, staring at the ceiling and singing.  Or we’re trying to get out the door to go to summer camp, church, or a playdate, and instead of remaining focused on the process of getting ready to go, you get distracted by any number of random things and will even ask to watch a movie or play a game, having totally forgotten that we are trying to leave the house!  As you can imagine, this leads to frustration on both our parts, and you and I have agreed on a new strategy for dealing with it.  The idea is, when I notice that you are becoming distracted away from the task you are supposed to be focused on, I say “Squirrel!”  Then you remember what you’re supposed to be doing and re-focus.  This prevents me from nagging, gives you some measure of responsibility, and is also light-hearted enough to keep us both in a good mood.  This idea is still in the trial phase so I can’t give a verdict on it yet, but I think it’s neat that you recognize the problem and have ideas for solving it. 

We’ve had some pretty awesome experiences already this summer: Canada’s birthday with our friend Gracie, an outdoor movie in the park with Ryan, and Superhero Training Camp with Leonie and Evangeline.  There are more adventures coming, including birthday parties, an air show, and at least one trip to the lake.  What a wonderful time we’re having together!  Next summer will be even more amazing, since your Dad will get to join us for all these adventures.

It really does seem to me that you have done some significant growing-up in the past few months, and the idea of you heading off to kindergarten seems a lot more real.  You are a much more confident and contented child than I could have anticipated at this time last year, and you are getting better at asking for and accepting help when you need it.  I couldn't be more proud of you, and I am so excited to see what kindergarten is like for you.  I think you are going to love it!  And there's something about you that draws people in and makes them want to be around you - last week we waited in a long long line at a neighbourhood event so that you could try rope-climbing a tree.  You climbed really high, quite fearlessly, and listened well to the helper's instructions on how to come back down.  When you touched ground again, the people gathered around all clapped and cheered for you.  No other climber had that effect on the crowd!  You have a charisma and magnetism that will definitely serve you well as you head to public school.

Well, that's it for this month, Gwen.  As always, I love you a million billion kajillion and five, and I am glad I get to be your mom.

Love,
Mama

My Kid [Still] Can't Sit

(Cross-posted from my crazy new all-purposes co-blog, Red Sharpie Moments.)

Back in the day, the long-ago days when Gwen was a toddler, she couldn't sit.  "Sitting unassisted for a period of time" was a six-month milestone, and she didn't meet it.  Looking back, I don't feel like I was super worried about this, but maybe I was - I was pretty crazy/hormonal/stressed out about motherhood during that period.  I *do* remember that I had a hard time explaining it to people, who kept misinterpreting me and believing that Gwen couldn't sit still.  No, the problem was that she couldn't SIT AT ALL.

Evidence.

Sitting on hip, not bum.

So at eight months old, Gwen became that rarest of children: a child who can crawl but cannot sit.  "They" say that sitting helps toddlers develop the core strength necessary for crawling, but apparently Gwen wanted to prove them wrong, because she learned to crawl at least a month before she could sit.  Weird, right?

(Spoiler: she finally started sitting at nine months old.)

Here's something even weirder.  Gwen is STILL not so keen on sitting.  Here are some photos taken over the past several weeks.  In every photo, Gwen is watching a movie on TV, so has every reason to be comfortable, stationary, and, you know, facing the screen.  Generally in cases like these, people turn to "SITTING" as a solution.  Not Gwen.

In Gwen's near future: sitting in a kindergarten classroom and doing 'desk work'.  I can't wait to see how that goes.

Dear Gwen: Month Sixty-Two

Dear Gwen,

It’s been a super busy month, so full of milestones.  So many things are beginning and ending at this time of year.  This week marks the end of your time at Tender Beginnings daycare/preschool.  You’ve been a part of the Tender Beginnings family since you were twelve months old; first in a home-based daycare run by your beloved ‘Nise (Denise), then attending the preschool run by Sharon, Denise’s mom, for the past two years.  So this summer marks the first time in your life that you will not be taken care of either by your own family, or the Larkins family.  What a milestone!

We’ve also already said goodbye to piano lessons.  We’ve been so pleased with the Music for Young Children program, and your year-end recital went really well.  We always get lots of comments on your confidence and stage presence; though some of the kids your age are very shy and hesitant to perform the requisite introduction of themselves and their piano piece into the provided microphone, you are always quite bold and happily announce, “My name is Gwen, and I’m going to play ‘Busy Fingers’.”  We were really excited about continuing lessons again in the fall, but your teacher announced just a week before the recital that she would not be continuing with your level of classes.  We scrambled around for a while and think we have found you a new teacher with the same program (MYC).  While it’s not ideal for you to be having so many transitions and new things at the same time this fall – new school, new grade, new schedule, new music teacher – we’ll just have to deal with it!

After the piano recital, we got to go bowling for the first time.  It was your first bowling experience and my first experience with the automatic scorekeeping system.  We are both completely enamoured!  We signed up for the “Kids Bowl Free” summer program, so hopefully we will go do some more bowling in the coming months.  It’s cheaper than Jumpin’ Jiminy’s and way more fun!

We also wrapped up our Kingdom Kids club for the year with a barbecue on the beach.  The preschool year also celebrated the arrival of summer with a giant family potluck at Bowen Park.  So many good-byes!  There has also been an important hello: we all went to your kindergarten orientation a couple of weeks ago, meeting the principal and several teachers.  Your dad and I are really happy with the school, the people, and the atmosphere there.  I think it will be a really good fit for you.  We have to wait for the first week of school to have teacher interviews and determine what class you’ll be in; in the meantime, they gave us a few things to practice with you, like the addition of lowercase letters to your reading repertoire.  You picked up on it right away.

An exciting and important event in the past month was that you got to be the flower girl at our friends’ wedding.  You have known Tricia and Nolan all your life, and in fact Tricia and I were pregnant at the same time, with your friend Reilley being born just a few weeks after you.  It was wonderful to see you, Reilley, and Erik fulfill your duties as flower girl and ringbearers – you were all incredibly adorable (and very well-behaved)!  Your dad and I were really proud of you.

Well, I think that’s it for this month, Gwen.  You continue to be a hilarious and engaging child with a lot of passion and joy.  We are so glad to be your parents.

Love,

Mama

PS: Extra pictures this month to make up for a short newsletter!