Dear Gwen,
Today you are eighty-two months old.
It’s been a very exciting month. A lot of our family’s time
and mental energy is going towards Operation: New House, which means that we
have gone out to see some open houses for sale, and we have also been working
to get our house ready to sell. It’s been really neat to work on these things
as a family, with you as a real participant. As we set out one weekend to go
see another open house, you happily told me, “Don’t worry, Mom. I know the ex-patations
of visiting an open house.” And you sure do love picking out which room would
be yours, and giving us your feedback on the house and yard, and so on. You’ve
even been co-operative and helpful in the efforts to put a huge amount of our
possessions – including yours – into storage, so that our house will be clean
and uncluttered for potential buyers.
You’ve been on your ADHD medication for six weeks now, and
my, what a difference. You are just so much less intense now, able to
transition smoothly from one activity to another, able to focus on a task
without constant intervention and redirection, able to accept disappointment
and frustration and work through them without pitching a fit, able to work
independently and effectively, and so much more. At the same time, you are no
less joyful, creative, exuberant, or hilarious. We were recently reading “My
Brain Needs Glasses”, a book for kids about ADHD. The narrator, a child with
ADHD, says “I get distracted by noises, and also by my own thoughts. It's
really hard to concentrate!" I asked you if you still feel that way since
starting medication. "I don't get distracted any more at all, I just sit
and do my work. The only thing that distracts me is if someone is talking to
me. Then I just answer them and go back to my work." I asked, “Does it
make your life easier, to be able to concentrate like that?” You replied,
"WAAAAYYYYY easier!” It made me so happy to know that you are feeling the
difference too.
Even better, the medication has not produced any unpleasant
side effects (knock on wood) and, with a recent switch to morning dose instead
of evening dose, your sleep schedule is improving as well. I am very happy to
say that you have gone to sleep without melatonin for the past week, and that
you are able to fall asleep around 8pm instead of the previous weeks’ time of
9pm, 10pm, or even later. Hooray for sleep!
It’s hard to believe that your Grade One year is halfway
over. Your homework has certainly increased over the past month or so; you have
a book bag with three books you are supposed to read every week, and you are
having weekly spelling tests that you need to study for. Unfortunately, with
our busy family schedule, it’s incredibly hard to find time to fit all these
things in (we do read together every night, but you don’t always want to spend
that brief time reading the books you ‘have to’ read, preferring to choose your
own). I admit I am particularly baffled about how to help you with your
spelling. Spelling comes very very easily to me, and I rarely have to think at
all about how to spell something. Which means I have no idea how to teach YOU
how to spell, because, y’know, you should just SPELL! For a language-loving
English major like me, seeing your spelling scores of 4 out of 12 just makes my
stomach drop, so we’re going to have to sort this out. So far, the only
strategy I’ve figured out is to print the words in large print and put them on
the wall near your bed, so you can see them as you’re trying to fall asleep,
but this approach doesn’t seem to improve your score much. More strategies to
come!
The other side of your school experience is, of course, the
social aspect. There is a child in your class (code-name Amy) who is making
your life pretty difficult in this area. She’s not bullying you per se, but she
is attention-seeking and manipulative and doesn’t seem to know how to be a good
friend (even though it seems that she wants to). It’s very hard to know what
strategies to encourage you to use when Amy starts pushing your buttons. If you
ignore her, she starts crying and lies to the teacher that you hurt her; if you
engage with her, she keeps pushing and pushing you until you do something
hurtful (with words or hands) and then the teacher puts you in a time-out; if
you walk away from her, she follows you. The teacher is aware of the situation
and is trying to figure out the best solution for everyone.
These days your favourite hobby is playing “Just Dance” on
the Wii, and you have also become very aware of pop music and love to sing
along to the lyrics. It’s pretty funny to hear. And of course, every song you
love is your “very favourite song ever in the world!!!”. Some of your
favourites include Roar & Dark Horse (both by Katy Perry), and Uptown Funk
by Bruno Mars.
You’ve been learning about kindness at Sunday School, where
your teacher encouraged the kids (and their parents) to sign up and participate
in The Coldest Night of the Year, a fundraiser for local charities that help
the homeless. So last Saturday, you and I bundled up in our warmest clothes and
walked 2km as part of our church team. It was pretty fun! Two kilometres is
about as far as one should force a six-year-old to walk at one time, I think. I
was very proud of you for participating in the event, and proud of you for
calling your grandparents to solicit donations. You and I raised $120 to help
the homeless in Nanaimo – our team raised a total of $670, and over $30,000 was
raised in all of Nanaimo. Pretty cool!
As always, Gwen, we are so proud of you and love you so much.
You are such a fun kid and it’s a treat to be your mom. You are my BFF!
Love,
Mom
