The other night when I made the decision not to wake Gwen up to eat, Chris was frustrated and upset that I'd made the decision unilaterally, and he also didn't agree with the decision itself. That night, I handled Gwen entirely by myself while he slept, which I didn't think was fair either! So last night, we agreed that Chris would wake up Gwen, I would wake up myself, and we'd fingerfeed her after each nursing.
We set the alarm for 1:30am. At 1:25am, Gwen woke up and began making hungry noises. We had a very effective nurse and fingerfeeding, then went back to sleep, setting the alarm for 5:30am. At 5:25, same thing happened - Gwen woke up and asked to be fed.
Lillian had told me that my sleep schedule and Gwen's would start to mesh - that when she was about to wake up, I would wake up, and not feel miserable. It's true! MUCH better than waking up to an alarm and then convincing Gwen to wake up from a deep sleep as well. I think it's a great sign that she is waking herself up to eat.
I'm getting so much encouragement from friends - everyone emailing and calling to let me know I am doing a good job, it will get easier, and that the scale is not the be-all end-all of baby wellbeing. Thanks, everyone :-)