Thursday, December 6, 2007

So much on my mind today.

A friend of mine who is about 8-9 weeks pregnant bled very dramatically and suddenly for about half an hour last night. Then, all of a sudden, the bleeding stopped and the remainder of the night was uneventful. She is booked for an ultrasound at noon to find out what's going on.

I am completely preoccupied with this today. I can't tear my thoughts too firmly away from her (and her husband; we too often forget that men go through this too). I am utterly shocked at how deeply I am responding to this. It's like going through it all again.

I wouldn't wish the pain and emptiness of miscarriage on anyone. I pray desperately that she will be alright.


On a much more selfish note, I'm nearly 19 weeks pregnant and have two surprising things - surprising to me, at any rate - to report. Firstly, I am still throwing up about once a week (even with the anti-nausea medication). This week's exciting event was on Tuesday. It usually hits between 9 and 9:30am, and though my breakfast is digested by that time my body absolutely positively needs to kneel by the toilet and heave for a few minutes before resetting and feeling okay again. By that time my eyes are watering desperately and I feel a little shaky, but it passes fairly quickly. I'm glad I don't wear makeup so I don't have to fuss around with mascara after that. It's become a very normalized part of my routine: I feel the nausea coming on, grab my water bottle and head to the (work) bathroom, turning on the fan to mask at least a bit of the noise. Heave, heave, heave, then tidy myself up, rinse out my mouth, and back to work. It's amazing the things we can get used to.

The second surprising thing is that I haven't felt baby move yet. I've heard/read these movements describes as flutters, bubbles, popcorn, butterflies, waves, or even spasms. I haven't felt anything, dammit! I try to be alert and conscious of anything I feel, but there isn't anything I could possibly identify as movement. I'm not anxious or worried about this, but I am kind of frustrated with myself because I am really excited to feel that movement and connect with the baby but I am not paying the right kind of attention, or something. Patience, patience.


What a social lubricant pregnancy can be! I went to a multi-branch staff luncheon yesterday where I don't know many of the people (and many of them sort of resent me because I am somewhat of an auditor to their paperwork, which they consider to be a pain in the ass). I was a bit nervous about it but needn't have worried, everyone was in a pleasant holiday mood and when they saw/heard that I was pregnant they were bursting with congratulations, asking how I was feeling, telling me about their own experiences, etc. It's funny how pregnancy as a concept can so drastically change how you relate to a person. For example, I blogged here about Tricia, a friend of Chris's who is one week behind us in her pregnancy. Prior to us both being pregnant, Tricia and I have likely spoken to each other 3 or 4 times in the 3 years I have lived in Nanaimo, and all of those have been because of running into each other at parties or bumping into one another at the mall - not because we ever sought out each other's company. But now that we are sharing this experience, we are going to pre-natal yoga together, will likely try to attend the same pre-natal classes at the health unit, are swapping clothes and books, and talking fairly intimately about what we're experiencing and how we're dealing with it. We've become instant friends, at least on that one common area we share.

Similarly, my boss Norm and I recently took a training course together which happened to take place at the hospital. I asked him if his daughter, who is now 6 years old, was born at that hospital. He responded that she was, and started telling me all about that experience and his wife's difficulty with breastfeeding which was made worse by the nurses' unwillingness to co-operate and allow her to nurse on demand. I was very interested in the story, naturally, but later it surprised me that he would share such intimate details with me. I mean, ultimately he was talking about very private things, and we have a professional relationship only. So it was surprising, but at the same time pregnancy (and, I think, parenthood) tends to bring that out in people.

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