Friday, May 8, 2009

Random Thoughts for Friday

I have just learned that it makes me feel like a good mother when I hang Gwen's cloth diapers on the clothesline. What makes YOU feel like a good mother? (Or father? Or person?)

Another question: If you sent someone an email saying you'd like to order two [somethings] and then asking them for the cost, and the person emailed you back and said "The [somethings] will be $35," would you assume that you owed the person $35 for the pair, or $35 each? I assumed the former. I am now $35 broker than I really want to be.

Actually, no joke, I am colossally broke right now. The math works like this: I had to pay upfront for daycare (which is standard), so I wrote a cheque on April 27 for 4 days' worth and another cheque on May 1st for 11 days' worth. Today, I got my first paycheque from VIHA, for four days' worth of work. Now, I have a decent-paying job, but four days of my pay does NOT cover 15 days of daycare. Anyway, once I actually get a full paycheque on May 22nd, there will be a lot more breathing room, but at the moment ... no. No movie theatre for me this weekend, I guess.

(Note for family reading this: When I say I am colossally broke, it means I have no money left for fun stuff after paying all my bills. I still have enough to pay all my bills, because I'm anal like that. So don't panic, the collections agencies aren't knocking down my door or anything.)

I've had a very successful day off. This morning I took Gwen out in the stroller and went to the Seawall for a long (one-hour) walk. We stopped at the playground for a while on the way back. The playground at the SeaWall is freakin' awesome! I've never really checked it out before because hey, playgrounds aren't that interesting when your kid can't walk. Even now, she can't totally take advantage of the awesomeness, but I can just bet in a year or two she will be crazy about that place. After the playground we met up with some other mom friends at the coffee shop for some snacks and socializing. I fed Gwen her lunch, which I'd brought from home, and then we bid our friends farewell and went home for a bottle and a nap.

While Gwen napped, I goofed around on the Internet, washed a bunch of dishes, ran the dishwasher, hung aforementioned cloth diapers out to dry (after stripping them last night), planned tonight's dinner, and cleaned the bathrooms. The only thing I'd planned to do today that hasn't yet happened is grocery shopping. I love going with Gwen first thing in the morning when the store is fairly empty. Not sure I'm keen on doing it on Friday afternoon at quittin' time - might have to try tomorrow morning instead.

I've been back at my job for two full weeks now and still don't know how I feel about it. I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that our department moved to a new office this past Monday, so the first week of work was all about packing for the move, and the second week of work was all about moving and unpacking and getting settled in. The various movers and assemblers and technical contractors and so on were in and out all week long, doing various bits of things, and the long and the short of it was that I didn't have a desk or a working computer until one hour before I left work yesterday. That's four days of putzing around not doing my job, and one hour to set up my desk before leaving for a three-day weekend. I feel like next week will be my first real week of work.

I can tell you that I miss Gwen, and I feel like I'm really distant from her. Chris is the one who gets up with her in the mornings (I'm usually already up, dressed, and eating breakfast by the time they come downstairs) and takes her to daycare, and about half of the time he picks her up, too. She says "Dada" all the time. It seems she's learning not to rely on me, which makes me so sad. I tend to dive into things and spend all my physical and mental energies dealing with whatever that thing is. For the past year, it's been Gwen. For the past two weeks, it's been work. I need to figure out how to do both. This must be that 'balance' thing the media keeps talking about when referring to working moms. Balance has never come easily to me, but I will keep working on it.

The sun is now out and it's a gorgeous afternoon. I'm so glad it's the weekend. Pretty soon Chris will be finished work, and Gwen will wake up from her nap, and then we'll spend the weekend as a family. Hope you all have a wonderful weekend too!


Rachael said...

When Ira eats some tasty nutritious snack that I've prepared off the cuff, I feel like a good mom.

Conversely, when he looks at me with hungry eyes when I've just stopped to buy dollar pizza, I feel like a bad mom - do I feed him my crappy pizza, or just keep it to myself? There is no good solution. I have failed to stop buying dollar pizza, so now he gets a bite of my crust.

Kim said...

LOL - hanging clothes and diapers on the line make me feel like a good wife/mother, too! So does putting a fantastic meal on the table for my hubby.

You don't find Gwen enjoys parks? My Gwen LOVES the park. She climbs up the stairs and crawls to the slide and we go down together and she'll grab my hands and walk me all over the place and over to the swings and point and get all excited till I put her on them :) We don't have much of a backyard, so we spend quite a bit of time at the park.


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